I don't know if this will help anyone but I thought I would let you know what has been going on here. Whether or not it is good or bad we will see. A little over a week ago we had our first session of couseling together. It was hard and very emotional and I even let a little of my wall down for him to see the pain and fears that I have. He promised to do things and I promised to do things. I was keeping up my end of the deal but he wasn't. I had reached the end of my rope and confronted him on Tuesday. We talked calmly which was a first for us but he looked me staight in the eyes at the end and said. Either you take me for what I am now and do things my way or you can just pack up and leave. Well I'm not about to spend my life doing things his way because it will kill me. I can accept him for what he is but he can't accept me for what I am. For me the choice was clear. The next day I called on a job and set up an interview. I talked to my parents about letting me and the kids come live with them for a month or two while I got on my feet and I called a lawyer to see about where I stood. When he came home from work that night I told him what I had done and that as soon as I had a job that the kids and I would be moving to my parents. His mouth just dropped open. He sat down on the couch and started to cry. I sat down next to him but didn't say anything. When he stopped crying he told me that he didn't want that. I asked him why he gave it to me as an option then if he didn't really want it. He said that he was too afraid of changing and admitting that he had messed up. He didn't think I was strong enough to leave and take on that resposibility. I told him that I was done being unhappy. I was ready to take charge of my life and that he was welcome to come with me but that we both had to admit that we both made mistakes. I don't blame him for where things have gotten. I blame us both. We both did things and we both played the games that got us to where we are. So we both need to change and fix things. He promised to try. Tonight is our next session but because of his work we had to cancel but he reminded me this morning to reschedule. I think we have reached the turning point. Now if we can just keep it going. Thank you all for being here to talk to. <br>Steph

Steph,<br>Glad to hear that you stood up for your self and that your husband now realizes what he has and wants. I thought that my wife wouldent leave but she did and the rest is history. You seem to doing well and things look promising for you guys. Good luck with your next session.<br> Ken

I am extremely happy for both of you! I pray for your continuing progress.<p>

Steph, I'm so happy to hear that your husband has finally confronted himself ... I wish you love and luck in your healing journey together!<p>terri

Steph,<p>Good for you. It was really interesting to hear about how your husband reacted. Just as I have asked qestions about how a woman responds, my wife has asked me why it takes such a crisis for a man to change, if he does at all.<br>I found myself thinking i would have been ready to change at the counseling session. But your husband had to actually be faced with the fact of you leaving.<br>Different things for different people. At any rate I hope this is a new beginning for you guys. It helps to see others making headway.