I don't understand how the custodial parent is supposed to survive financially when there are lots of kids. In my state, the guidelines stop at three kids - any more and it is up to the judge to decide whether additional child support is awarded. Child support for the second and third child is only 3 percent of income - even if the NCP earns 80K, that is only slightly more than it costs to feed an additional child. <P>A three bedroom house in this area rents for more than half my gross income, if I were working full-time. My co-workers who have 2 kids in daycare spend an amount about equal to half my income in daycare costs, and if I worked full-time, I would have 3 in daycare. One co-worker is paying $4000 for 8 weeks of summer daycare. I have a professional job, so I get paid enough to disqualify me from many programs for the poor, since the federal poverty guidelines do not take into account the cost of living, unless you live in Alaska or Hawaii. <P>The economy is booming, but I know a number of people, including my H, who have been laid off recently. How the H*** do you live in a state where average incomes are so high, and there is almost no middle class - there are the very poor and the very rich? Everything in this state is aimed at the two income, one or two child family.

Nellie,<BR> What city do you live in?<BR> Seattle is the same way.The house prices here are skyrocketing.Luckily,I bought this house 15 years ago,but my taxes go up every year.In fact they've tripled since I bought it.If I didn't have a real good paying job at Boeing,I'd probably think about moving somewhere cheaper.This definantly isn't a singles town if you don't make much money.<P> ~~Murph

yeah, nellie, i know what you mean. if stbx can manage to keep this job (he's had 8 in 3 years), he'll owe me a living wage in child support, but im sure he wont let me leave the san francisco bay area, where i'll be lucky to find a 2 bdrm apartment for under $1500. im in texas now, and things are so cheap here! i wish i could move here and really give my kids a decent life, and i wouldn't even have to go to work....<BR>im not really trained in anything (the BS in psychology is exactly that), so my income potential right off the bat is pretty pathetic. i just hope my family will be willing to help me get settled somewhere and help me pay for the divorce.<BR>does your H at least have any prospects for work? isn't OW getting sick of being a sugar mama? my heart goes out to you...<BR>julie

Out here in MN, the programs are all different, and although the Federal Guidelines are low, the programs will use the F/G as a base, plus a certain dollar amount. <P>We also have a program out here called "New Beginnings" - to help those who have been financial dependent for 2 or more years to become financial independent/self supporting. They can help with the costs of schooling, daycare, counseling, work clothes, car insurance, books, etc. <P>In MN, to find out about different programs, people can call "First Call for Help", through the United Way. I always encourage people to call, because there are so many different programs that there is a possibility that they would qualify for something.<P>We have another program called "Fair Share". It is a food distribution program. For $15 and 2 hours of volunteer time (which could be shoveling your neighbors driveway, etc....) you can purchase $45 worth of quality food. It is designed to help people who are not on any programs to become more of a part of a community. It is a nationwide program, but is only available in some areas.<P>I was single for 5 years, I know what you mean - it is very hard to support kids on your own.<P>TNT

Murphy,<P>Near Boston. Unfortunately, the economy is booming - except for those who have been laid off. <P>julie,<P>No, he doesn't even have any prospects, and he sounded terribly depressed. <P>TNT,<P>I participated in the Fair Share program for awhile, last time we had no money. Unfortunately that particular site didn't seem to have any choice in foods, and it was mostly things the kids didn't like. In a lot of ways you are better off working a minimum wage job in an area where housing is cheap, than earning much more than that where housing is expensive. I think it is really disgusting that the federal education credits start phasing out (for single parents) at a gross income that is less than twice the average cost of renting a three-bedroom house in this area.

Nellie<P>You are very much aware of the problems of single moms. Sometimes I think the legislatures and grant makers have no idea what kind of barriers single moms face.<P>Maybe you need to write a letter to your state legislature - or grant makers for your area. I know that those letters don't go on deaf ears. Also - I think I would write a letter to Fair Share and ask them to change the selections to be more "kid" friendly - to help some of those single moms out there.<P>That is me, I'm a small time activist in my town - and it does make a difference. <P>Hugs to you....<BR>TNT

Where I live they take the totally income of both of us and divide it by some magical numbers and come up with the % that each person pays of that childs cost of living. Because I make a decent living not great but decent he really got off fairly well, ex doesn't think so. But, with housing which he did quick deed claim the house back to me (mine before we married) I have an average house payment, then I clip coupons, the kids don't wear name brand clothes and unless bought from a yard sale, I had read a book some time ago about women leaving the work force so I budget along those guidelines. I do work full time and it is a bummer having to pay a sitter, if you work part time is there something you can find to do at home, like babysit yourself for the extra income to help you get along,It is rough but pray, maybe these judges will someday rethink these divorces and make the runaway more accountable for these children,you know like if you aren't going to stay home and raise your kids like you said then work work work and pay for them. My prayers are with you. Try and remember too.

TNT,<P>For some reason, in this state, you get a almost reasonable amount of child support for the first child, but apparently you aren't supposed to have more than one child. <P>Just a couple of years ago my H said that he would have liked to have had more children if we could have afforded it. Of course, after he left, he no longer remembered ever having said that. <P>cbs,<P>My lawyer was impressed with how little I spend on several categories of expenses, like household and clothing. I have no idea where else to cut back.