HI ALL,<BR> I need your prayers for tomorrow. At 9 am my Wife will divorce me. In NH the divorce is final at that time, no waiting period. <BR> I don't have to go but I want to. I want her to look at me to make it real when it happens. A few weeks ago I may have asked for prayers that God would soften her heart and she would change her mind in the 11th hour. This now would be more of a miracle than I have the courage to ask for. God should save miracles of this magnitude for more important things.<BR> I ask that you pray that I can walk in with my head high and out the same way. I bought a new suit and will be "Looking Good" don't want to look like wimp or a fool in a new suit.<P> And mostly, if OM has the ba**s to show-up, that I don't kick his ancient a** all over the courtroom and get myself arrested. I mean, I would really LOVE his blood on my new suit, just don't want to go to jail. I really want God to take care of him and if I do that he may not. <P> Anyway, please those of you out there that are in a similar situation don't internalize what happened to my Wife and I. Although every story has similar elements, all stories are still unique and God's will for my marriage might not be his will for your's. Thanks to all and keep fighting for what is right you are the bravest and most honorable people I could ever hope to meet. God will bless you ALL is HIS time. GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK

Frank,<P>You have my prayers. I'll pray that you'll have the fortitude to look straight into your W's eyes without waivering, showing her you are a loving and caring man. Making her remember and realize why she married you in the first place.<P>I'll also pray that if OM has the elephant balls to show, he will feel the guilt due him for coveting a neighbor's wife.<P>I hope you have someone going with you Frank, do you? You shouldn't go alone.<P>Jo

My prayers are with you because I've been there and done that. I was on auto pilot and it was over in just a few minutes. Ex did not come. One signature and 28 yrs of marriage was over. It was not as bad as I thought it would be, even though I did not want divorce. You'll make it and you hold your head up high and look great in the new suit. Don't give the OM or ex the satisfaction of reacting to them--be Mr Cool and Mr Business.

Frank,<BR>My prayers are with you. Keep your head held high, you have nothing to be ashamed of, you have done everything you can to save the marriage.<P>Bob<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

Frank,<P>My prayers will be with you tonight and all day tommorrow.<P>I agree with Jo, you will need support in court and afterward.<BR>We are here for you if you need us!!<P>I know this will be hard, but I have faith that you will STAND TALL (and look sharp)<BR>tommorrow! I know God will honor your faithfulness. <P>[In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ(1 Peter 6-9)]<BR>

Frank<P>My prayers are with you. I pray that God takes this battle on for you, and that he gives you the courage to stand tall and live your life according to His will. Just as David defeated Goliath, no matter what happens tomorrow, you have won in God's eyes. <BR>My prayers are also with your W. I pray that she sees the error of her ways - that if she can't live with you, that she at least treat you with the respect and dignity you deserve. Good luck.

I'm right there with you....<P>You are loved...<P>Lori

Take it from the biggest emotional wimp there ever was......you will be fine. Surprisingly enough.....it was not that bad.<P>He didn't look the same....and like I said before.....I felt every emotion except for love. It was weird.....really it was. I thought that I would just break down....maybe even uncontrollably sob....but I did not shed a tear.<P>In fact...he looked sadder than me. I feel so much better....it is over.<P>I do not love him anymore. I feel sad though because I still wanted to. I never wanted to stop loving him...never...but it happened.<P>Good luck to you....just remember that a divorce does not mean that you can't still get back together.<P>Nancy

Dear Frank, <BR> We all will be thinking of you and will have you in our prayers......<BR>I know the pain and concern you are feeling...many of us here do......<BR>Please come back to vent and share...we will be here for you...<BR><P>------------------<BR>Susan

Thanks to you all. I really can't post to you individually right now. But thanks. Remember, you have hope..... LOVE & PRAYERS FRANK

Frank,<P>Sending you prayers and strength for your court date and beyond.<P>Dana

Hi Please Help....I saw this last night and prayed my little heart out for you (and your Wife, too!)<P>How did it go? How are you?<P>I am so sorry, Frank......<P>It doesn't have to mean the end....<P>Could be a fresh start for the relationship - you don't know what God has in store.<P>I know that I will be an absolute basket case on D day.......I believe that H will be also if the events of the last court date we had are any indication. <P>Grieve.....let it all out and then let all the knowledge, love and strength that you have acquired lead you through this transitional time.<P>We are here with you and for you...we love you and send as much healing white light to you as we can.<P>You have not been beaten because Divorce seems to be the outcome, for it is only the outcome of the moment!!! Anything can happen from this moment on....you just have to live towards the goals you desire. <P>BIG HUGS and wish I was there to comfort you and give them in person......<P>Please talk to us soon, so we know that you are alright......<P>Sheba<BR> <BR>

HI All,<BR> Thanks so much for the prayers. They helped a LOT!! Here's what happened....<BR> W came REALLY late, we were already called and I thought MAYBE she changed her mind. BUT... she showed about 5 minutes later. Her eyes were really red and she looked VERY tired. I looked GREAT (if I can say so myself )<BR> <BR> At first she wouldn't look at me and kept her head down. I noticed she had blisters on her thumbs and asked what happened. She told me she had been raking in the yard.<BR> <BR> We went inside and ended up standing up in the back together shoulder to shoulder. She kept looking at me and when I turned, she'd look away. I finally said "Your hair looks nice" She laughed and said, "Don't lie you hate short hair" Then I said "This is amazing how fast and easy they make it" She got mad and said "It wasn't easy GETTING here though was it!!!" <BR> They called us up and her lawyer did most of the talking. irreconcilable differences BLA BLA etc... And the female Judge asked W if there was irreconcilable differences in the marriage and W said yes. The Judge asked if there was any hope for reconciliation. W said no.<BR> The judge then asked THIS question, and it was the ONLY time she asked it all morning. She asked my wife if she was TOTALLY sure that there was ABSOLUTELY NO HOPE for reconciliation. W hesitated for about 5 seconds and FINALLY said yes. THAT was the longest 5 seconds of my life. Of course my heart sunk when the Judge said "OK then divorce granted. It was weird, it was like she sensed something. I mean she must do this soooo much that she can??<BR> Anyway her lawyer took us outside and told us that the bla bla bla would come in the mail and bla bla bla. I told him (sarcastically) that he did a great job. <BR> We started to walk out together then my W (xW now I guess) stopped and said she wanted to ask him a question. I started to wait for her but didn't.<P> I went outside to the parking lot and I looked for her NEW car and couldn't find it so I started back around the building and almost bumped into her! She said "Forget where you parked?" I said "Well, kind of I.." "Where are you parked?" She pointed and I asked if I could see her new car. She said sure and we walked there. We talked about the car and she asked me questions about a button on the dash. I told her that was the thing I had told her before she'd need to read about and she asked where the button was and pointed and she said "Oh, just get in a show me" We ended up talking about an hour!!<BR> I have to admit BOY did I love bust!! But SH** I HAD to get this stuff out!! Not mean just blunt. Like about what a loser OM was and she said that "He leaves me alone and lets me do what I want" We talked about her upcoming marriage on THIS SATURDAY to this jerk and she told me "Well, I have the house I always wanted" IMAGINE!!<BR> I said "Sure but look at the COST" "You don't have me, you don't have the respect of your children AND you have to live with HIM!! She has a deep seeded problem with sex and she CLAIMS that they have never had sex. Said "That's the deal" I asked about her "wedding night" She said she didn't know. I told her "that could be REALLY UGLY (he's almost 62 and looks 72 with a HUGE beer belly) She AGREED!! Said "Yeah, it really could" <BR> We talked about a lot. She is still VERY angry with me. Said I BEGGED you to go to counseling and you blamed it ALL on MY PROBLEMS (Pre MB and stupid I admit)<BR> She said now I could find someone and wouldn't have to deal with someone with PMS and the other emotional problems.. then she cried. I feel for her, I wish I could have helped her. <P> The last thing I said was, "I have only one regret in this marriage" she looked at me with her eyes REAL wide waiting for me to drop a bomb on her. I said "I wish I could have shown you the Harriet I see" , "You never believed me" She burst out in tears and said she had to go. <P> THIS WOMAN DIVORCED ME, CHEATED ON ME, HAS PLANS TO MARRY OM IN ONE WEEK AND I STILL LOVE HER!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME????? When I cry, I cry for her pain. So sad. So F***KING SAD!! I'll be OK, I hope she will. LOVE & PRAYERS FRANK<BR>P.S. Sheba, God help US!! Lori said pretty much the same thing!! WE NEED HELP THE THREE OF US!!! We are HOPELESS romantics and optimists, YES, I thought the same thing ALL DAY!! But, if she marries him???????<p>[This message has been edited by PLEASE HELP (edited July 07, 2000).]

Oh Hon........<P>If she marries him.....SO WHAT?<P>Will it be as real as your marriage day?<P>NO!!!!<P>Will it be for the kind of real love like you both shared and still do (in my opinion!)?<P>NO!!!<P>So what exactly is this "marriage" going to be? <P>It is purely an illusion to calm your wife's "fears" about some problems she has that she is not working through properly.......<P>THAT IS ALL THIS 'FARCE' WILL BE!!!!<P>It is simply a legal thing if it happens, Frank.....GOD plays no role in it through love. <P>I firmly believe that God's role in this is through YOU....through your love!!!<P>I also KNOW that it and therefore HE, will prevail!!!!!<P>Harriet needs to go down this road for some reason that we cannot fully understand.....there is a destination for her. Allow the course to happen, stick with your feelings of love as long as God keeps those feelings alive and keep improving upon yourself through this horrid "walk through the fire"....<P>You are not foresaken.......<P>Cry, let it out.....I am crying with you. It is an "ending" of sorts...for society dictates that......but until you "feel" it in your heart and soul - it means NOTHING....I believe that God resides in our hearts and souls, so that is His path to me. If I follow those and leave my pride, expectations and judgements out of it - I will not go wrong.....<P>BIG HUGS,<P>Sheba<P>PS - Curious about court....why didn't the judge ask you those questions? I was told that I will be asked as well as him.....also, did you have to sign papers saying Irreconsilable Differences?<P>

Hi PH -<P>You OK? <P>Just thinking about ya.........<P>BIG HUGS, PRAYERS and STRENGTH,<P>Sheba<BR>

HI Sheba,<BR> WOW! You are something girl!! I feel a LOT of what you are saying believe me. The only way I can get through this is like this:<BR> I'M GOING TO SOW MY WILD OATS AGAIN!!<BR> Hey, one or two years of going out and being single again and living life to the fullest and doing ALL the things you CAN'T do while married. <BR> I don't mean being a P....I....G.. or anything, just look at it like a break in the action and if someone comes my way that can change those feelings, well, I'll have to deal with that at THAT time. <P> If my W wants to try again SOMEDAY when this "Trial by fire" over. God's will be done.<P><BR> I believe IF this EVER EVER happens, it WILL be with God's blessing and she will have a greater appreciation for what we HAD/HAVE JUST LIKE little old ME!! Also, God will heal her pain and she WILL be TOTALLY the Harriet that I KNOW SHE IS. The one WITHOUT all the WALLS and baggage. Email me if you have the time. I want to hear how YOU are doing too!! darrt@prodigy.net<BR> I love you for all the support AND that NEVER say NEVER attiude!! God bless you, FRANK

Why is it that I get stuck with the jerks out there that dont care? You sound like a great guy that got hurt really bad. I feel like it is always me that ends up on the losing end. I would have killed to have a guy like you. One that would fight for me. I have been married twice and the second divorce is on the horizon and it is always me that had to fight to keep things together. I guess this one fell apart because I stepped back to see if maybe he would fight a little to save it. He didnt, he left. I should have looked at his mother's divorce record. My mom and dad have been married over 40 years. His mother has married 8 times and his dad left when he was 2 years old (the age of his daughter now). I feel for you and I also respect you as a REAL man. I knew there were some out there, they just aren't circulating around me.

Please Help,<P>I so feel for you.<P>I am about to go through the same thing. We are filing for divorce next week. She is living with OM, and planning to marry him as soon as we are legally divorced.<P>She has had sexual problems with me since we got together (from her childhood) but seems to be cured now with OM. I wonder.<P>He is much older than her, guess she was looking for Daddy.<P>I to have no idea why, but I still love her. I feel like a big fool..........but I think that it is them that are the fools. Unable to see all the love that lay right their at their feet if they would only open up and accept it.<P>At least that is how I see it now. Her loss......in the end, will be greater than mine. I know Creator will bring someone into my life who deserves and will return my love and devotion.<P>Prayers are with you, keep your chin up.

Lonelyintexas,<BR> Hey, thanks for the kind words. A "Real Man"? Thanks, haven't felt like that for a while. That's the hardest part of all this, is dealing with the "losing" aspect. In the beginning I felt like such a loser. In the END I felt like such a loser. But you know, it's really not about that. I know now I'm NOT a loser and I'm not going to call her one either. It's not about that. It's really about "choices". I was just "chose" to stand by what I promised GOD, my W, Myself and her children no matter WHAT hard work I needed to do to accomplish this. My X wife on the other hand didn't. She chose the "easy" way out. But we both know that the easy way, will lead to even MORE work down the road. <P><BR> I have a VERY VERY hard time understanding how a man can leave a woman with a child alone. I have an even HARDER time understanding how a man could leave his 2 year old DAUGHTER alone in this world!! Wow, Satan's pulling him REALLY hard. It probabably does have something to do with HIS Father leaving him at such an early age and his Mother's extremely bad example of how a marriage CAN work through the tough times. Poor guy, he never had a chance. I'm sorry for your pain. <P> I hope you find that guy you can call a "real man" BUT I PRAY for you, AND you're Daughter that God will soften your Husband's heart and really knock him in the head REAL HARD to wake him up and make HIM the "real man" you deserve. THAT would be SOOO GREAT wouldn't it!!!! <BR>P.S. I looked for your posts to understand you're story better but the search didn't work. I DID look at your web page though, nice! I hardly EVER remember my dreams. What does THAT mean?? I did have a series of dreams once in which I would "FLY" I LOVED those. I got better with every dream. It was AWESOME!! I wish I still had them!!<BR> <BR>10021997,<BR> Thanks for the prayers and the "chin up" !!<BR> PLEASE don't feel like a fool for loving your Wife. This is what a husband is SUPPOSED to do isn't it? This is what God expects of us. For better for worse..... doesn't say anything about UNLESS....... <P>This is the toughest thing I've EVER gone through so believe me I KNOW your pain. Don't count out God's mighty power though!! He can turn this around OVERNIGHT IF, and it's a BIG if, it is his will. <BR> I'm sure my xWife (still forget the X sometimes) hard to believe..... Anyway, I think God wants my Wife to go down this road for some reason. And, he might want the same for yours, some sort of lesson for them (AND US FOR SURE!!! OUCH!!) <BR> The only advice I can offer you my friend is DO NOT file if it is NOT what you want. Let her..... Sometimes that's all the slowing down this "fantasy" needs to "Break the spell" Good Luck & Prayers Frank<BR>P.S. I was interested in the "DADDY" thing you said. Question? My W (X WIFE DARN IT!! ) lost her Father to cancer right in the MIDDLE of this. Is your W's F still alive? What type of relationship do they have? Just curious. THANKS FRANK<BR>

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