711,<BR>I know how much fun it is. I miss it alot. Those hangovers suck though. Here's my dream date:<P>Super cute guy E, wines me and dines me. We go dancing (with lots of slow dances) where he shows me how "happy he is to see me" ha,ha. This is 1982, before AIDs and before Herpes was as prevalent, so we go jump into the hottub for awhile. Then jump out, rub massage oil all over each other (with our hands and other body parts) then have hot, sweaty, go-all-night, do-everything, sex. <P>You can see I've been busy. <P>My choice for you is #2, I guess. What I'm doing is dating everything (if you consider hanging out with guys to be a date).

Well, two is definitely a viable option. It comes highly recommended by many people I trust and admire, my parents (who have been married happily for 39 years - this was the second marriage for both of them), sisters (I have 4 that are older), therapist (with over 25 years of experience), friends and numerous people on this site. <P>I wish I wasn't a hopeless romantic, a basket case, and so needy. Maybe one of these days I will be able to stand on my own two feet without having to have a man at my side. That is what most wish for me. I did make it a few days on my break. My sister knew that it was only a matter of time before I went from a pillar of strength to a pile of rubble. <BR> <BR>So, we shall see what happens. Will the romantic win out in the end? Probably not, but I haven't been able to stop myself from trying. If I find "real love", I will let you all know.<P>Take Care. I hope we all get what we want in life and soon!

"JEEZY-LOWEEZY!!!!"<BR> <BR> "HEY,STUDENT!!"<P> Would you KINDLY go easy on the"jump out of the hot tub,rub massage oil all over with hands and other body parts,have hot,sweaty,go-all-night,do-everything sex"stuff?!?<P> What are you trying to do?<BR> <BR> Give me a cardiac arrest? <P> Take pity on us poor guys,will ya?<P> ~~Murph

711,<P>i met the office woman for a couple of beers at her house last saturday evening.<P>my conclusion, i must forgetaboutit.<P>she is recently divorced, although took 3 + years, but is still not back to normal, nor will she ever be my normal type.<P>Its easier to see now, after mb sensitivity training. so it might feel right, but also be very picky, dating is not marriage as a wise sue said, but make sure you look at it that way, and don't be in a rush to fill a gap for the sake of filling a gap.<P>good luck<BR>thl

I have a serious question.<BR>Now remember, I have only been seperated from my stbx for @1 month. However, there is no hope for reconciliation and the papers have been filed.<BR>I have no intentions of even considering dating until after the divorce is final. Then I don't even know. But here is something that is really bothering me.<P>I find NO women attractive right now. In fact, I get really bad feelings in the pit of my stomach, and all I can see, smell, hear is her in my head..... IS THIS NORMAL??????????<P>I could look at a woman when we were married and at least admire beauty. But now...jeesh, I am worse than my poor neutered dog!<P>FELLAS........IS THIS NORMAL???????????<P>Thanks,<BR>Ben

Ben,<BR>aside from the occasional joking around here, like I did above, I really have a hard time imagining being with someone right now. I have zero desire to "date" in the conventional sense. It has been a year for me.<P>Kinda like a tequila hangover. If you get sick from it once, just the smell of it brings back bad memories (or so I'm told).<P>Murphy,<BR>Well, I guess I have something to prove Alot of folks (I think) are assuming that because I'm celibate I don't like sex. I do. Maybe too much. That is like saying a reformed alcoholic doesn't like alcohol. <P>I'm like 711. Really a romantic at heart, so it is better for me to just make it a non-option.

Thanks thl:<P>I have kept up with your posts here or there. It is true, I'm only dating right now. I'm not getting ready to go down the aisle. It's good to be reminded of that. <P>I meet with my therapist tomorrow and I know he is not going to be too happy with my decision to continue seeing this guy even though we have slowed this way down. Oh Well. I plan on telling him I don't want to talk about that, that I'm here to heal that hole in my heart that he keeps talking about. We shall see if it can be healed. I hope by next week so I can get on with my life already!!<P>Hang in there. Sounds like you are struggling with some relationship issues too. I agree you must be picky and not make concessions because you are afraid there may not be another one for ya.

I'd talk to him and tell him you need to back off and get a more objective view of your new relationship. Here's why: About the third month of dating my second husband, his previous girlfriend showed up at his house where I was waiting for him to come home (which I did occasionally). Well, I was on the toilet, when a VERY angry, out-of-control woman opened the bathroom door and started yelling at me. She told me things about my boyfriend that I just couldn't believe. He told me she was a crazy lady and shouldn't believe anything she said (and his friends agreed with him). Well, since I loved this man and we planned on moving in together and then eventually get married, I disregarded this woman's angry display and forewarnings about him. Well guess what? He did molest his daughters (even though his own family denied it!) and he did steal my panties for his exploits (whatever those were). So, I guess what I'm saying is, sometimes "crazy" women are telling the truth, albeit in a scarey way. Just pay attention as you move forward with this guy; and don't forget that "love is blind" as you begin falling for this guy. But in all honesty, I hope your new relationship works out for you. Good luck!

Wow, that is quite a story. Thanks for sharing that. It really makes me think now. Oh Boy. It just gets harder and harder. Why do we even consider getting together with the opposite sex? It seems like the stories get worse and worse. Of course, only 50% (or more now?) end up in divorce. But, of the remaining how many are happy or content or committed or whatever is the appropriate word? Maybe I need to visit a "happily married" website for inspiration. Do they exist?<P>Seriously though, your story does sound a little to close for comfort. I will remain very cautious. <P><p>[This message has been edited by 711 (edited September 23, 2000).]