Please help answer a question for me regarding a research paper I am writing. The topic of the paper is "The 'Relationship' between Engagements and Marriages". If you could impart any thoughts, experiences, opinions on the similarities and differences between engaged and married couples in the areas of money, sex, education and decision making, I would be eternally grateful. <p>Please include your age, marital status and anything else you feel is important (i.e. spouse's age, length of relationship, etc.)<p>Thank you in advance for your participation. You have not only helped develop a research paper, but have also given insight to an engaged woman. Thanks again.<p>Feel free to email me at Sibley77@hotmail.com<br>

Wow! This might be a toughy, but I'll give it a try. I am a married woman of 36 with three children from my first marriage. My husband is 28. We weren't really engaged, but I WAS engaged to my first husband; for about a year. We lived separately of course. So for us the difference between being engaged and being married was tremendous. He had his money because he worked. I lived at home and was going to school, so I had no job, thus, no money. After we got married, I remained unemployed for some time, so his money became ours. <br>We did have premarital sex, though not very often. This however did NOT change after marriage. I don't think we were the norm though. Education was only a factor before we were married. That did not effect him because he was not paying for it. As for decision making...there wasn't alot of that during our engagement unless it was over our wedding plans. But of course that changed dramatically after we were married. Whatever one of us decided, it affected the other. It is very important to relate to one another on the decision making process in a marriage. And it is a good habit to get into during the engagement period. Good luck on your paper.

Okay Sara Here goes.....<p>I am 42 My husband 44. <p>Engagement...god that was a long time ago. We dated for 5 yers prior to being engaged for one year. Married at present 21 years altho separated. <p>During dating and engagement all decisions were made jointly. Money was tight as we were both young and he was in school. Married in 1977, and due to a job change money was no longer an issue. Still all decisions were jointly made. Whether is was to buy something or take a vacation. We had premarital sex and an active sex life during our marriage. Education..I finished High School and my husband completed a four year college education prior to our marriage. <p>Decision making took a different turn somewhere around the time of my daughters birth in 1984. I was to be a stay at home mom. We were purchasing a house. I was not working and my husband was. He decided to become an umpire and soccer refferee to make extra money. This was his decision and something he wanted to do. I then took on more responsibility as far as decisions in the house such as bill paying. Meanwhile I was also doing as much as I could in the house so that he could do what he wanted to do. When my daughter was about to turn 4 I started to work again at a job that allowed me the freedom to work while she was at school and home when she was home. She is now 14 and I am working 40 hours per week at home and at office. In the ten years since I began I was promoted to a position of responsibility with 5 people reporting to me. In all of this and my working I am still doing as much if not more since she was young. We fell into a pattern of sorts and there was no change. But thru all of this any major decision was made jointly. <p>This may be more than you wanted sorry but if you have any additional questions feel free to contact me at Kathleen@cset.net<p>Kathy