Hey gang -<BR> My H brought the OW to our son's ball game Thur. night. This was the first time I've ever actually seen him with another woman. The nerve he has is beyond me! I thought I was going to pass out or something. My heart started pounding and I was so shocked. They walked over & set their lawn chairs up and acted like they were the perfect couple. My son (11) was terribly hurt & didn't want to play, but he went ahead. I got the courage to walk over to them and all I said, to both of them was "This isn't very nice of you." She stood up and got in my face and said "I can be here if I want to be." They were there, they said, to watch her nephew play the next game coming up. I was so uncomfortable! I wanted to scream, cry, run away, & beat her up all at the same time. I folded up my chair & got my daughter, who was playing with her friends. She (6) saw her daddy & ran to him. The OW tried talking to her but she ignored her. She new that something wasn't right here. She said later that she didn't like that lady! We started to leave but didn't because I wasn't going to let them run me off. They were intruding, not me. Any way, before we left, I told my H that this was really low, really low & that (sarcastically) "She was a beauty!" Actually she looked like your typical SL--! She has, no doubt, been around the block more than a few times! Talk about hurt! I have never felt so bad. I cried all night long at home. It really was cruel of him, wasn't it? I haven't talked to him since. Maybe he fell off the face of the earth or something. I know, I know, he's the kid's father & I should't wish bad things to happen to him but I do! Thanks for letting me vent!<BR>Downhearted

I do know the pain you are feeling, because my ex brought OW to my daughters soccer game and sat two rows behind me, and later on during the season, she started working in the snack bar with another parent she met at the game! I, too, was angry and hurt. I didn't approach them, but wanted to so badly. I had to skip several games because it bothered me so much. I discussed this with my therapist and she said to make myself go to the games and do everything in my power to ignore them. I have no control over what they choose to do, but I do have control over myself and my behavior. If you have a friend, sit with them. It has been very hard, but each time gets easier. I will no longer allow the OW to have any power over me. Hold your head up highand show your kids what you are made of. Those in the middle of adultery are not capable of seeing the hurt they cause others because they are in their own little world. Do not even speak to husband or OW--it only hurts you.

This is what makes me glad that my stbx lives 30 miles away. He could have handled things differently.<P><BR>

I think it won't be too long before om starts coming to my kids stiff too. He brings x, drops her off and then works out at the adjacent fitness center. So I imgaine it won't be long till he "wonders" over when he is done.<P>I've considered calliing the place and tell them he can't use the facility, its a city owned facility, and they don't live in the city and he doesn't work in the city anymore.

Downhearted,<P>I agree with you that it was a terribly cruel and insensitive thing for them to do. The OWs response that she could be there if she wanted was completely out of line. This should not have been a match between the two of you, and I'm sure that any decent person watching was horrified at the inappropriateness of the situation. I am very sorry that your children were hurt.<P>I understand the necessity of letting bygones be bygones, and getting along with her if she and your husband eventually marry - you want to know and trust (ha ha) a person that will be around your children, but this was not the case at all. I can't imagine why your husband would want to introduce his children to her in that way. I am dumbfounded at the insensitivity. I hate to go on and on like this, but don't ever think you were being OVERsensitive. I probably would have thrown up on the spot. Or on her. It took a lot of guts for you to stay there, and for your son to continue to play.<P><BR><p>[This message has been edited by honey.west (edited July 17, 2000).]

{{{{{{{DOWNHEARTED}}}}}}}}<P>The day I found out of the affair, in January, I dreaded soccer, which didn't start til May.<P>I've been there and done that, and I agree it wasn't fun. Just remember a few things.<P>Don't let your kids see you in pain. Try not to let ex and OW see you in pain. Of course they are going to appear the perfect couple while there. But you know better. There is NO perfect couple when it comes to a relationship that comes from an affair.<P>I sat NEXT to my ex and his OW for a few games. Ughh. I DIDN"T enjoy it at all. OW even showed up alone once. Well Ex's whole family outcast her and you know what, she nor EX ever showed up again. <P>I think if they know how bad it gets to you, they'll use it against you as well. If you have to sit on a different part of the field, go right ahead. Be strong, do it for the kids.<P>By the way, I don't agree with OW acting confrontational at those events either. Everyone has to get along in front of the children. You can hate her and she can know it, but the kids need to believe you are ok.<P>GOod luck,<BR>Dana<P><BR>