This is driving me nuts.<P> I cant stand being alone. <P>I know I have my kids but who can I watch boxing with? Who can I watch Married with Children with? Who can I laugh with? <P> I know I can laugh with my kids but I miss intimacy. I am falling behind again.<P> Maybe it is because it is getting late and the kids arent in bed yet and ALL responsibility has fallen on my shoulders to take care of everything.<P> From the bills to kissing the kids goodnight. And there is ALOT in between.<P>I am ALONE and unheld. Is this YET another phase?

I have 3 children in my home right now. My sister's step son is here. <P>I dont know what to do with myself. I am watching BOXING alone...lol <P>I feel pathetic. Why cant I move past this? <P>I have cleaned my house over and over and over and over.<P>Even my pictures on the wall are shining. <P>What else is there to do? <P>AAARRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!

Yall are going to be sick of me by the time I actually move on with something. <P>I feel like EXPLODING!!<P>Is this normal? I feel like a child.<P>I am a professional for GOSH SAKES!! God, keep me sane.<P>I just dont understand why such a LOSER would dump ME!!<P>I did EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>I suppose this is the anger stage? That's ok because in 5 more minutes, I will be depressed again.

Look at me...I am answering my own thread.<P>Will I feel better or worse if I just break down and cry?<P>Better or worse???<p>[This message has been edited by LonelyInTexas (edited July 15, 2000).]

lonely,<P>Ok, I'll answer your thread! <P>Give yourself a break. It's so soon to expect to feel great. It took me a while to even feel like a human being again. You will be angry, sad, depressed and for a few minutes here and there, happy. I still get angry when I think about my stbx. He doesn't see the boys often at all and doesn't bother to call either. He only lives 10 minutes away, too. I work 40+ hours a week and have never held a job before this one. Because he doesn't feel the need to see the kids, my parents are keeping my kids all the time for me. And it's hard on them. They raised their children, they shouldn't have to help raise mine. And it's all because he chose to be with an alcoholic bimbo. No, it's not fair but it's what I've been dealt and I have to make the best of it for my kids' sakes. <P>Keep posting and venting here. And yes, sometimes it does feel better to have a good cry-baby session! <P>Mitzi

Here I am again. My sister is supposed to pick up her step son and then I can go to bed.<P>I switched my phones back just to see if MAYBE I could catch MAYBE a phone call from him.<P>If I had already been in bed, I wouldn't have done that.<P>AND....the phone rang!!! At 11:15 at night. My heart started pounding and I answered the phone.<P>It was MY MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>She said she tried the other line and it was busy so she called the usual number.<P>I cant believe I set myself up for that. Isnt it a little insensitive of my sister to stay gone this long?<P>Or is it just me? If I were sleeping, my mind wouldn't be doing so much wondering.<P>I have to give this up. Tomorrow will be the 4th day.<P>His family never came and got his things. Either they are hoping he will come back OR they are waiting for the judge to split things up.<P>I paid half down on this house with a personal injury settlement that was settled the day before we were married. I paid 85% down on my car also.<P>The car is now paid off and I just cant see any judge taking my house or my car from me.<P>SOMEONE please tell me why he or someone wont come get his things.<P>Why do they insist upon leaving them here? They are only personal things. Some court papers on his son, clothes, caps, etc. It wouldn't take a moving van for these things.<P>ANY IDEAS?????

Think of all the great things you can do alone. Being alone offers you wonderful opportunities. How many parents would just love 10 minutes of alone time? It's all a matter of perspective. Look at the bright side and things will miraculously change.<P>I miss intimacy too. I've been tempted to call someone who I know will be there for me just to have some testosterone around, but what a mess that would be! Whoo! I don't need the aggravation! Think of the down side to THAT!<P>The only thing I've found that works for those thoughts is to get busy doing something creative. Cleaning is good, but it isn't creative. You don't have to think to clean. You need something that requires you to either lose your mind (like dancing, painting, exercising, writing or sculpting) or that requires you to think so your other thoughts don't get in the way.

I am getting out my oil paints until my sister comes and gets her step son. Done deal!!

Lonely,<P>Honey don't get your hopes up about his things being taken from the house. My stbx still has almost everything he owns here. The only things he took when he left were his clothes and tools. He still has some clothes here and everything else. And he left almost 7 months ago. It's all boxed up and in the basement. (The dampest corner too! LOL)<P>Paint!! Express yourself!!<P>Mitzi

Hey Mitzi,<P>I'm no lawyer, but if the divorce is final (is it?), he's getting storage for free. I think all you'd have to do is send a certified letter stating what you intend to do with his belongings if he doesn't pick them up. If he fails to respond, you send another certified letter, stating that this is the final letter and you will dispose of his things by a certain date. If he then fails to respond, you can do whatever you want with them. Burn them, sell them at a yard sale, whatever. If he sues you, you have the two letters stating that you notified him in advance. <P>On the other hand, if it doesn't bother you all that much to keep it, it may not be worth the trouble. I know I need as much storage space as I can get. You have zero desire to have him back too, so it's not like you are worried about pissing him off.

The Student,<P>That's the thing, the divorce isn't quite final yet. But you can bet as soon as it is, I'm starting the process to get rid of it one way or another. I've even thought of having the judge order him to come and get it within so many days or it's mine to do away with. <P>No, I definately don't want him back and I'm not worried one bit about pissing him off.<P>Thanks for the advice, I may be able to use it!<P>Mitzi