When my H first left, he visited the kids in our home, and sometimes showed up a lot later than he said he would. One day, our 7 year old said, "He isn't going to show up, is he?" - although he had never not shown up. I mentioned that to him, and from that moment on, over a year ago, he called if he was going to be late. Over the past few weeks, he has been consistently late, but he always called. Yesterday, he finally called two hours after he was supposed to be here to pick up the kids, and arrived three hours late. The children were terribly upset. I asked him if he had sent an email that I had not received, and he said no, he just had trouble getting going that morning, and had things he needed to do before he came. He didn't even make an effort to come up with an excuse. Not calling is totally unlike even the alien version of my H. Why would he want to upset the children so much? I know he wants the children not to blame him for anything - and it would be really hard for him to pin the blame for this on me.

My H doesnt even come to see the kids. It has been 4 days and I know that isnt alot of time, but they were used to seeing him everyday and now he has VANISHED. He went 6 months without seeing his other son at all. Your children are older and I am sure they have expressed this to their dad (in all lowercase letters FOR A REASON). If they haven't they will. Moms are tied, Dad's are let loose (most of the time). He has a new found freedom. Maybe I am just a little bitter.<P>

Lonely in Texas,<P>No, my kids did not say a word to him about being late, altough they complained to me all morning, and my daughter was nearly in tears. I don't know if they don't talk to him because they are afraid he will get angry, or stop loving them, or just because they know it won't do any good..<P>