hello everybody, well i guess i know what hapened. she told me she just dosent love me anymore. kind of hard to take after 20 years. w said she didnt know why she lost her feelings for me , but there gone. w says she loves me as to know that im ok , but not as a s . how can i get w to love again? i love that woman with all my hart, im not ready to quit, but she is. i just dont understand. what did i do to make her feel this way? oh my god, i just thought about how manny times this story has been told. i feel like a d...a.. im just siting here ratteling on about this like knowone ever heard it befor. im sorry to bother all of yal, i will go to this site to try to find out how to deal with divorce. thanks.<BR>gary.p.<BR>

Gary,<BR>REad all you can on the home page there is alot of good info there to help you save yoour marriage. There ar a number of success stories, particularly in the General Questions section.<P>Please read and post when you have questions or problems.<P>Bob

HURT HUSBAND,<BR> Only YOU can know for sure when to "give up". But in my opinion, this is WAY too soon. MOST of us here have heard the words "I love you but I'm not IN love with you anymore" In MOST cases it's a smoke screen for a problem that can be overcome. IT IS NOT HOPELESS!! People don't just STOP loving someone after 20 YEARS!! There may be someone turning her against you. You can overcome even that. A LOT have here.<BR> <BR> Read all you can, yell, curse and cry. BUT do it here. Read about Plan "A" on this board and post your questions ALL YOU HAVE!!<BR> There are VERY VERY good people here that can help you. They are about SAVING MARRIAGES!! At very least, you can vent and make a friend. I've made friends here that I hope will remain in my life forever.<BR> We will be praying for you!! GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK<p>[This message has been edited by PLEASE HELP (edited July 19, 2000).]

HH,<BR>First of all I would go and buy a few books and get myself up to speed on things your marriage needs to improve. Start off with His needs/Her needs. You can buy it online here at this bookstore. As others have said, acquaint yourself with all the information here.<P>Secondly, keep posting and the let people help you. Try posting on Emotional Needs board.<P>Thirdly, when you see your w.....make it pleasant. Let her see a strong and in control man. Find out what her top needs are and flood them with deposits. I know if my h would even try to meet mine that it would bring me around.<P>Fourth, what has she complained about over the years? Write them down.<P>Fifth, what did you do when you were dating that met her needs and made her happy? Spending time together....Going dancing?....Taking walks..... Think hard and write them down. This will give you a window to what she needs.<P>Keep posting! Sorry I didn't see your post to me the other day until today! Cheer up and get to work. T<p>[This message has been edited by tessa (edited July 19, 2000).]