ok....thank you all for posting to me...this is keeping me going right now.<P>As in my earlier post....yesteday I filed the preliminary documents for the divorce...60 days a hearing and then it is all over.<P>LAST NIGHT.........she calls<P>"are you ok?" NO..I am not...my whole world has just been torn apart...what do you expect me to say.<P>long pause<P>Finally....I said that the papers are filed, and in 60 days she will have what she wants.<P>She thanks me for not dragging it out...and I tell her she really didnt give me much of a choice.<P>She said she just wasnt happy anymore.....and I told her that she should have told me...she said she tried.....I said you never said it....I cannot read minds...<P>again.......long pause<P>Then she says.......WERE YOU HAPPY? I said YES, most of the time I was....no one is happy all the time.....but I loved you and believed in you. I thought any problems we had we would always work through.<P>I reminded her of the letter I had given her and said that I had thought on that letter long and hard, and that it best expressed my feelings of love for her.....but that I would remind her of one other thing......the last trip we took together to the scottish festival....sitting under the tent, listening to our favorite band with it storming all around us....holding hands.....just a month ago. That I thought then how lucky I was...to have someone I loved so much...shared so much with.....who completed me so greatly.<P>long pause again.........then she said she had to go.......she would call me back later....<P>Of course......havent heard from her since.<P>Is she just toying with me? Playing with my emotions?<P>I cannot tell what is going on here......I am trying to Plan A..........but IT HURTS SO BAD..and I dont have much time <P>60 days is not much time<P>PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HI 100...,<P> You did really well!!.......sounds like Plan A to a tee. AND, I think you have her thinking and maybe she is getting confused. She would much rather you tell her how angry you are and how unhappy you were,in order to justify this whole thing. I know 60 days is not long, just keep up what you are doing, there have been amazing stories on this board. LU

60 days is all you have for being legally married, but it isn't all you have for working on Plan A. It took me two years to get to the point of being willing to go back to my H, and by then he was remarried. If you are willing to wait, then don't date (or remarry) for a couple of years. If she does, you can still wait a while to see if it lasts. Affair-based marriages especially seldom last long. NSR is working this form of Plan A even now.

OK IMPORTANT QUESTION!<P>Should I contact her at all, or let her do all the contacting?<P>I am dying to call her.........want to hear her voice.......but thinking that I shouldnt.<P>What would go along with plan A?<P>Call or not?<P>Leave a little note for her on her truck?<P>SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!<P>Thank you all so much for your help and support.<P>Ben (10021997)

I believe you said in the post that she is the one who ended the call and said she would call you back-let her make the next move. Just be polite when she calls and do not bring up relationship. I do not think it is a good idea to leave her anything in her truck--it comes across as pursuing. I think you need to totally leave her alone at this point in time. I know it is terribly hard, because I've been there.

<BR>[B]"60 days is all you have for being legally married, but it isn't all you have for working on Plan A."<P>So you think I should stick to plan A? Should I try calling her? Leaving little notes for her on her truck? or leave all contact up to her?<BR> <BR>"It took me two years to get to the point of being willing to go back to my H, and by then he was remarried."<P>I dont think I could or would be willing to wait that long......but right now I can honestly say I have no desire for anyone but her. Makes me sad to think that she is all I can see<P>As she has had no problem having this OM in her bed.<P>thanks<P>