To Sheba and others who have been posting to me...thank you. I think in "normal" spouses and infidelity problems that planA/B work well. However, I am increasingly convinced that my mother and friends are right about my stbx wife. <P>They all say she is crazy. Sociopath with no conscience and that I have been blinded by love. As she threatened me today with bodily injury if I didnt do what she wanted "THIS" time. (which was give more money) With much sorrow, I am tending to agree they are right. <P>Apparantly the OM has not turned out to be the money baggs she thought he was, and she is broke. I am not sure, but she could be doing drugs, (like coke) as she looks awful and has lost lots of weight. (and she was already rail thin)<P>Also, if you were going thru a divorce, and your funds were limited, would you blow $150 in a day?<P>hell I havent spent that much on food and gas the past 3 weeks she has been gone.<P>My love for her is dying......being replaced by loathing.<P>So I am refusing her calls and demands. Today I simply told her I could not talk to her anymore and hung up. Now she has called my cell phone so many times and screamed into it that I had to turn it off. Also, I am having to screen my calls at work.<P>I think she is loosing it entirely.<P>NOTE...she is a recovering alcoholic who had been sober 6 years. She was also a "cutter" or practiced self mutilation prior to our getting together. I am the one who helped her get clean and on with life. Now I am seen as her jailer.<P>As much as I would like to be able to help her, I think it is best to just walk away this time, before I end up getting pulled in over my head.<P>I was always taught that love could heal all wounds........apparantly love could not heal hers. For that I am very sorry for both me and her.<P>Ben<P>

If nothing else, this woman is emotionally abusing you. Telling her she is out of control and that she must calm down or you will hang up is appropriate. You do not have to hang around to be hurt physically. Stay away from her. At least that is my advice.<P>It sounds like both of you need professional help. You've probably been through a lot. <BR>It was validating for me to have someone help me deal with the emotional scars left by my x. And, you know, words hurt just as badly as fists-but other people don't see the bruises. (We're not even going to talk about what she needs.)<P>I had heard about domestic violence committed by women against men but had not ever known anyone personally involved until I met the man I am now dating. There are web sites where you can get information and hear from others. Good Luck!!<P>

Hi 100...<P> I've replied to you before but now with the new info, that she might possible be doing coke....yikes! <BR> How did you help her before get sober? Did you go to Alanon? That might be the way to go since I don't think you can do much in the way of infidelity if she is into drugs......This sounds like a nightmare, hope you can get some support somewhere....LU

Ben,<P>I just replied to your other thread.<P>Now I understand....My STBX is a recovering addict (4 years sober)...<P>OM is just like a drink or a drug to her...<P>I mentioned in your other thread to fellowship with other men. <B>GO TO AN ALANON MEETING ASAP!!!</B> the people there will give you the tools you need to cope with this.<P>You have my e-mail...write me if you need to.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.