Hi friends,<P>I just want to pop in and say hi. I am going thru a lot of changes and turning points in life right now.<P>I wish I could come here daily like I was but right now I am just not able to.<P>I am wondering how those original fellow posters who came here with me, from the general questions side are? William J, RWD,NSR, Mitzi(brat answer your mail), Roller Coaster, Sue, Nancy, Wilbok,Woozy,Keridwen, and anyone else I have forgot . No one posts updates anymore??? How is everyone?<P>To those new to the forum, when I sign in lately, I see a LOT of new names on the divorced side and many of you have 0 replies or 1 or 2. I wish I could take some time to get to know some more of you , and I will, but I hate to see people out there with 0 replies. I am guessing its slow cause its summer, and many of us here, have now ventured out into that SCARY and ROCKY ROAD of dating. Hang in there and keep posting, and get to know the others who are able to post right now. <P>Sending prayers and hugs to all, and leaving you with a few words of inspiration too, some that I read still daily to get me thru , hope you like them.<P>Ability is what your capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it!! (Lou Holtz)<P>Victory belongs to the most perservering. (Napolean Bonaparte)<P>You must do the things you think you cannot do. (Eleanor Roosevelt)<P>Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you can not bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain.<BR>(Kahlil Gibran)<BR> <A HREF="http://www.followyourdreams.com/food.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.followyourdreams.com/food.html</A> <P>Prayers and hugs, Dana<P><BR>

Ok Dana!!! I'll post my update!!!<P>My divorce still isn't final. I wish it was...I don't want to be his wife anymore. My 11th anniversary is tomorrow. Should I throw a big party? LOL LOL NOT!!! I guess it's my anniversary since I'm technically still married. <P>I'm working 40 hours a week at a job I love. And if it wasn't for my parents, I would paying lots of money for day care. <BR>The kids are doing good and adjusting well. They don't see their father but maybe once a month and although I know it bothers them, they don't talk about it much. They do ask to call him once in a while and I always let them but he's usually not there or doesn't answer the phone. But I am doing all I can to make them happy and he'll regret not having them in his life one of these days. <P>It's hectic but I'm managing very well for someone who has never been on her own before! <P>Mitzi

Good idea, Dana!!<P>Been coming to the site for a couple of yrs now, but just started posting about a yr ago. <BR>I am 46 yrs old, was married for 17 yrs. Have a D, 16, S 14. <BR>X had a two yr online affair. I knew about it for about 1 1/2 yr of it. After several separations, counseling by Dr. H, and another, he wouldn't cut it off. Have been separated for a yr, divorced for almost 6 months now. <BR>Started dating March this yr. Renewed an old friendship with a male friend, and he is the only one I am dating now. X moved away this monthto another state, I understand it is over between him and the online chick, but I am not sure of that. <BR>KIds are doing well, son has some resentment over Dad, but he is going to some counseling and doing ok. <P>Xhas not paid any support since April. I am ok without it, but it makes things more strained. Whenever he wants he can see the kids, but doesn't much. He does call though.<P>My life is going well. The pain and hurt are over, I can see a bright future for us, and I am convinced that things happen for a reason. Would I take him back now?? NO! Am I happy now?? YES!Still dealing with some guilt over putting kids through all of this, but all in all, things couldn't be better.<P>------------------<BR>Susan

Hey Dana,<BR>Good to hear things are going okay for you.<P>I will be divorced for 6 months here shortly. X and om bought a house 3 miles away. To my knowledge they are not married. She still only sees the kids when they can stay overnight. <P>X pays me child support, there is no alimony.<P>Kids, d, age 13 this month, and s age 9 are doing well. I had them to counseling when x and I separated in July 99. <P>Kids are not keen about visitaing with mother especially when om is around. From what I hear, d will not speak to him. S is a little more accepting and protective of his mother. When they go over for a weekend they usually spend one night at a friends.<P>Have dated a little, but nothing serious(maybe it is all my fault! LOL).<P>So now I'm just waiting around to see what the Lord has planned for me and taking care of the kids.

My update thread.....<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/000555.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/000555.html</A> <P><BR>Bill<P><P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

Dana,<P>Not much to update.<P>Been divorced 1 month.<P>2 daughters<BR>Shelby---10<BR>MacKenzie---8<P>Things are ok. Ex is still a big dork. Wants everything, but I am not so giving anymore.<P>He only calls per "his" divorce agreement. On Tuesdays and every other Saturday.....otherwise, he is busy.<P>Still picking up the girls for visitation....but only keeps them half of the time<P>I am broke.....he doesn't pay full blown child support until the house sells. So I am not even making it. <P>I am still scared of being single.<P>No dating yet....but guys are starting to appeal to me again.<P>Would I take him back...can't really answer that.....because he would never come back.<P>He is dating OW and some new ones. Our Girls saw him at Walmart the other night and he was with one of his women. He ignored the girls and left immediatley. Nice dad.<P>Nancy

Hello Dana. Good idea to ask. Hope you and all others are doing well.<P>My STBX and I are permanently separated. She wanted to move the divorce along quickly but now has slowed things down. We have not filed for divorce yet as she has not finished going through the property distribution listing. <P>I started dating, and STBX has too. Now I am very happy and have a lot of fun. I am a very active person and so is my new partner. We do a lot together and have many mutual friends. <P>I had wanted my marriage to last, and I still do love my STBX. In many ways she is a wonderful woman, but she just did not treat me like she loved me, and I think we were both lonely because we were so different and did our own things. I do wish her well and hope she finds someone who is more compatible with her lifestyle. <P>God bless you all! <P>