My story:<BR>I am a foreigner but living in the US.We were happy and together 4 years before marriage. We got marry in our country. Leave there for 8 months and came to the US on june 1999 to start my MBA. On february-march of this year she started saying: I am not so happy, we don't have communication, you don't help with the house (this from the beginning). Some weeks after she decided to be alone and think. We leave 2 months together but like being alone (painful). On May I went to my country and then she arrived (she works in the US). She mantained her position: "you did nothing for the relation and it is part of your personality"<BR>So why did she married me?? I married her for what she was, not asking for a change or giving conditions.<BR>So I said: ok, I will leave you alone for a month. I came to start my internship to another town in the US and she returned to our house in texas. I called after a month: The same story. She does not want to try. I accepted my mistakes and told her I can and want to change some things. Not enough she said. She is tired of trying, she does not have the illussion any more. We are very honest and there is not another man.<BR>So I asked: you want a divorce? and she said: "that sounds hard, but IF YOU want that..." can you imagine. what does this mean? can this give me hope???<BR>That was like 2 weeks ago. Then my mother came to visit me and my wife called her to see how SHE was. then a week later she called again to see how WE were. the first time she talked with my mother. Then she called the next day and we both talk (but not about the issue). Then she called on saturday but talked with my mother ( I was with a friend in the kitchen). And she said she was going to call again. IS THIS NORMAL??? I don't know what to think.<BR>I feel alone and destroyed (you know how it is). I don't imagine myself not sharing everything about my life, even small things. It is very hard.<BR>Our friends (that are in my side, in the good sense) tell me not to Call, to be "strong". I DONT"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!<BR>She didn't call me for 2 months, nothing, before those calls to US (my mother and myself).<BR>I am going to return to my university and don't know where to leave . she is moving to a 2 bedroom apt. because her brother is coming to my university. We knew this before the problems and I like her brother a lot. he is younger and there is no problem if we have to leave the 3 of us.<BR>When we talked she told me: I found and apt. for me and my brother. what are you going to do?<BR>is like she is secure about the whole decision but not a 100%.<BR>ADVICE MY FRIENDS, please.<BR>AB

WOULD some body say something, please...

Hi AB,<P>I don't think people are ignoring you, just don't know what to say. And, your different citizenship puts your situation in a completely different legal arena than ours, and certainly I can't offer any advice.<P>But I can offer you an observation on what I read.<P>It sounds like you and your wife are very young. From the things I read your that your wife has said, if the two of you were only dating, I would say she wants to "break up" and doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying it directly - I remember that tact (from so many many years ago).<P>But the two of you are married, and I assume that it was not a marriage entered casually.<P>You and your wife need to talk much more directly, to find out exactly what each of you wants, and expects, and if it is the same thing. <BR> <P>

thanks a lot,<BR>I am not interested in legal advice, not at all.<BR>I just want to know what step to take. you know that in these situations in very difficult to take decisions and knowing what to do.<BR>I just want to talk my things maybe.<BR>It's so hard...

AB,<P>Talk to her. Really talk. Heartfelt talk - not smalltalk. It sounds like the two of you are avoiding it - not addressing important issues at all. You need to know, don't analyze everything she says, ask her directly.<P>