The [censored] is at it again.<P>I am about to give up....throw up my arms and just ask God....why me.<P>Big deal:<P>Dad didn't call the girls for his saturday call.<P>He called on Sunday....we are gone.<P>Left several messages...threatening me with the 24 hour crap or I will see him court.<P>Found out he called his attorney yesterday. He is filing charges. Said that I will pay for making his children hate him.<P>He is also the person who has final say on our home.....it is for sale. he gets to accept or deny all offers.....I had already stated to my friends and family that he will probably put in an offer....low ball it....and accept it. Well that is his plan.<P>My ex talks very loud....a whisper is like me talking in a loud voice. He claimed at work.....he is going to offer what we paid for the home 6 years ago. 139,000. It is listed at 184,900. Says his nephew is moving down here......that he will have him help cover for him in the purchase. My ex's brother (nephews dad) was a real estate broker for many years and has told him ways he can do this.<P>Now even more bad news. He is going to go ahead and fight for custody again. And almost just a worse.....I think I just fired my attorney yesterday. I faxed him a 6 page letter, telling him how I feel I got rooked in the divorce and that he did not respresent me to my best interest.<P>I am scared.<P>Won't get much sleep.<P>I am sooooooo scared.<P>Nancy

Nancy,<P>Try to relax, and start looking around, asking friends, particularly divorced friends, for a good attorney. <P>It might even pay to go to a divorce support group and inquire about attorneys, and get a good recommendation.<P>Then, start right off with new attorney, and<BR>see what will happen. <P>Explain that H can't accept below fair market value, get an independent appraisal for the house, and keep it with you.<P>Then explain H won't give out numbers to be reached. Actually, maybe with a good attorney, don't wait around if he doesn't give the number, and let the attorney <BR>bring up the unreasonable request.<P>Talk about signing under duress.<P>don't just take this crap! but don't let it get you down, remember, these are mind games designed to get you to cave.<P>So when and where is the next divorce support group meeting?<P>thl<BR>

thl,<P>That is exactly what I told my attorney. That I signed "his" (meaning my ex's) divorce decree under duress and coercion.<P>The more I read it the more it makes my stomach sick.<P>Heck, I can't even get car insurance because ex can't find the title to sign it over to me. He is claiming I have it and am hiding it to get him in trouble. The problem is....I am not trying to get him in trouble.....I haven't filied anything, I just want it so I can get car insurance.<P>He had 7 days to get it to me. It has been over a month. The reprecussions of not having car insurance are really bad.<P>But instead of my attorney persuing that...he just calls to ask when ex can come get the rest of his personal belongings. Ex had 7 days to get his stuff.....he put that time in the decree.....I made the home available to him on 2 occasions.....one time he went to play golf and the other out drinking. Not my problem anymore. But he is wasting money to call his attorney for a couple hundred dollars worth of stuff. Then mine is called...at 175.00 an hour. <P>I'm thinking about putting it out in the yard and calling him and telling him it looks like rain...LOL<P>Nancy

I used to be an oil tanker captain, we worked two weeks on/two weeks off. One of my friends who worked with me on a tug boat came home after one period to find all his belongings on the front lawn.<P>Yep. his girlfriend kicked him out, but never told him before hand.<P>You won't be the first, and I have more of those stories.<P>thl

nancy,<BR> h only has his clothes.I dont want him in this house again ever,cant we just put the stuff in the driveway ?alone1

{{{{{{{{{{Nancy}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Try to calm down. I can't blame you for being upset. My ex used to push me around A LOT. Thank God the bonehead is starting to grow up a little. Too little too late though.<P>OK so you fired your lawyer. He didn't do that great anyway. THL gave you some good advice. Go out there, and start getting referrals to THE BEST lawyer you can get. Seek payment plans but get that one thats known to be the one with the BEST at what he/she does. <P>OK, so let him go after custody again. Can he really use that issue? I doubt it. He can't KEEP doing that over and over or the judge will get sick of him. Where we live, you get the same judge as you had before. <P>Stay calm. Don't worry until you really need to. We're here to support you.<P>Prayers, Dana<BR>

Nancy,<BR>Great advice from all before.<P>Remember, X is furious and you are to blame!<BR>What can you do? Try, (I know I know, living the advice is so much harder than giving it.....) to understand that X is projecting his lack of control in his life and trying to control you as much as he can and to hurt you and your children in any emotional way he can.<P>Something you did (perhaps you did not give in to everyone of his sadistic demands!!!) has ENRAGED him and he NEEDS to get back at you due to his feelings.<P>Now try to depersonalize these attacks...... and be proactive in how you deal with his demands.<P>You have custody, so just keep on loving and looking after the kids. You and they know you are doing a wonderful job. <P>Get a new attorney who will act for you and the kids. There are some who are VERY concerned about the kids. Maybe the children's counsellors can give you a recommendation or 2. Run, do not walk and get the ball rolling. Whatever money is spent on this will in the long run, if good attorney, be cheap for your emotional and hopefully financial well being.<P>Put boundaries in so that X has to be mindful of his behaviour. He keeps on threatening you....at some point, where valid, it is time for you and your attorney to take control and threaten to take away his visitation due to abuse. Bullies keep quiet very fast when threatened!!!!<P>Take charge of this and with a good advocate for you, H will soon learn that his tactics can no longer work. It will not be cheap, but this is the route I have taken.