I wrote asking for help, Ive been injuried, had major surgery, having marriage problem, depressed and thoughts of suicide, and what does this wonderful forum do?? they wipe all my hope off the forum. Thanks so very much, I can see you really care about people , NOT.

idontknow:<p>I'm not sure what you mean by being 'wiped off the forum'. Your original post is still here, with 2 replies, including a detailed one with several suggestions from 'Jade'.<p>Do you mean that your original posting has disappeared from your topic list? Check the box above the topic list. Pull down the selections. If it says 'show topics within the last 2 days' or less, that could explain why your post disappeared from your listing. I'd suggest setting that to at least 7 days, or even 14 days. Hope this helps.<p>BTW, you have my sympathy. I know that chronic extreme pain can wreak havoc on a marriage. I'm sorry I don't have any brilliant answers. My wife has had some relief with something called a TENS unit, which uses electrical impulses to disrupt the pain signals to the nervous system. A battery-powered unit, about the size of a pager, is clipped to the belt. Electrodes embedded in reusable sticky pads are placed on the skin where the pain is most severe. Thins wires connect the electrodes to the TENS unit.<p>It's not a cure, but it can temporarily mask the pain to a tolerable level. We bought our unit, but you can lease/rent them too. Ask your doctor about it. (Can't hurt, might help!)<p>I'll say a prayer for you too! (Can't hurt, WILL help!)

I have just found this forum in the past 24 hours and noticed your frustrated, angry post and felt compelled to let you know you are not alone even though you are upset with the lack of response. You jumped because of your anger and didn't even see that your earier post is still there. <p><br>I do not pretend to know exactly what you are going through but, I can somewhat relate to you and I feel so sad for you as it stimulates so many thoughts and pains for me.<p>I had an car accident five years ago which left me with two vertebrae out of place, one in my neck that put pressure on my Oxipital Nerve which in turn pressurised my Greater Oxipital Nerve which ends in the top part of your head, left and right. The headaches were severe to put it mildly. My whole left side had soft tissue damage with effects from head to toe, literally. The other vertebrae was and is out of place in my lower back. Nerve damage in one arm, in my back, Myo-facia damage in my left shoulder area, and so on and so forth. One thing I noticed from your post was that you are very angry, an emotion I can relate to so well. I was a very cheery, happy go lucky character, incredibly active with tons of energy (recently diagnosed with ADHA to boot)and always on the go. Suddenly, physically incapacitated, no blatant indication that anything was wrong besides a collar and an almost frozen shoulder so, as a result, I would carry my left arm pulled closely to my chest for almost a year to help control the pain. So little I received little sympathy and often wished that it was a more 'tangible injury' so to speak and therefore family and friends might understand better. I know it is not the same injury that you have but the results on one's psyche are similar. I became very angry that I was robbed of my old self by a 17 year old who was too busy playing with his radio to look up and prevent running into me at 50 miles an hour while I was stopped. I actually laugh or scoff at the irony of his name, George Bailey as in the name of the character that is in the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" which is played over and over again in this country at Christmas time! Anyway, besides the obvious frustrations that come with a life changing injury, my intimate life with my husband was very affected which was hard for both of us, I had terrbile mood swings and was always irritable due to the severe headaches and the irritability that comes with horrible nerve pain and damage in my back, head, left arm and left leg, unbearable. Don't even talk about the medical scene, Doctors who are so afraid to even place a hand on you, literally because we live in such a litigeous society. After 16 doctors/specialist's/physio therapists, incoporating multiple mri's, total body bone scan, x-rays, physical therapy, a ridiculous suggestion of breast reduction surgery to help with the pain (weight of them pulling on my shoulder/neck - never had pain associated with my boobs before - infuriating) tonnes of anti-depressants as a quick solution telling me that they couldn't find anything and maybe I was depressed and it was in my mind, my [censored] it was (oops! got a little anger still):-). Anyway, I built up a lot of anger and in the words of my husband had a complete personality change! Painful to hear and realise.<p>What helped, besides medication and physio therapy? First breakthough on a physical level was a Chiropractor. A last attempt to alleviate the unbearable headaches, just to begin with, a decision aided by a great GP to go and see a "quack"! Boy was I wrong about that term. I couldn't believe the improvement. I'd leave work one person and in the words of my co-workers come back another. The difference was remarkable. The pysical pressure was alleviated in my head so much. That was the beginning, two years after the accident. I was on many pills which my husband had asked me to try and get off. I didn't think I could manage without them and I couldn't. Another major problem was not being able to sleep because of the pain and muscle damage. I was on anti-inflammatories for five years until I decided that I just had to try and cope with the pain in some less chemically induced manner. It had been so long since I had a 'clean' body and I wanted it. Another great simple break through was a prescription from an Orthopaedic Surgeon, 4 miles walk every day to strengthen my back, neck and hip. A great help not only for body for great for mind and mental attitude. <p>Financially, I had medical coverage in the State where the accident happened, but when I was ready to go to live with my husband who had been working out of State, I had no insurance. No-one wanted to help me, not even see me unless I paid them $500 for an appointment and even then they wouldn't guarantee that they would see me past that. Bloody doctors, whatever happened to wanting to help people??? Hypocratic Oath and all that!! Even though I needed help I wouldn't give in to that attitude (very highly principaled) and found a doctor who didn't need to be paid at that time and who in turn referred me to a physio therapist who also did not need to be paid right away. I signed some paperwork, provided by the attorney that I had given the case to in the original state, saying that they would be paid out of the proceeds of the lawsuit. What a comfort. Can you do this? Do you have an attorney? I hate that it comes down to money and lawsuits but you have to look after yourself and whomever is responsible for the accident, and that is usually what it is, but often with care could have been prevented and this is the only way they can be 'punished' which is what I felt needed to happen. A lawsuit will also teach the company or the individual, whom ever caused these injuries, to take better care in the future.<p>Marriage wise, not a good effect, that's for sure, forgetting the obvious physical implications, psychologically got to the point where I felt my spouse just didn't want to hear about it any more. That in turn caused resentment on my part and it goes on from there. It's hard on your spouse too. My spouse lost the jovial character he married. Resentment came from my thinking and having a bad attitude, sarcastically, God it's lucky I wasn't in a wheel chair he may have left me. That was my attitude though, not considering how it may really be taking a toll on him. Who wants to come home to a whining spouse, whining for years (exaggeration)someone he felt was not allowing themself to change their attitude and so to get on with my life. <p>I have arrived at that stage of late and feel so much better for it. I'll never be the way I was, part of the anger derives from the fact that the right side of my body reminds me daily how the left side of my body should be. I'm blessed though, I have nothing wrong with me compared to most, but it is still my little world that it affected and had a longer reaching mental affect than I would have ever thought.<p>I'm getting on with my life, I can open a letter from my attorney now easier than I used to, but the brown envelope that it comes in still triggers off many reactions in me. I feel angry that five years later, I will soon have to give a deposition and PROVE that I was injured and affected by this accident. At this stage that is the most anger inducing feeling. I know when I'm older this is going to affect me too but there's no point in worrying about that now and none in worrying about it then either because that's the way it's going to be and only my attitude can make a difference.<p>Try to get on the other side of things and think about how this is also affecting your wife. I didn't do that enough at all, I suppose I couldn't at the time, I was in a poor me mode for years, selfish. This has also happened to your wife. Her world has been turned upside down too, don't forget that. <p>Work on your anger, you can get medication to help with the physical pain, your attitude can help more than you know at this stage.<p>The most important thing is to try and get to some comfortable level physically, get lots of rest, help yourself with your attitude and above all realise how lucky you are (hard to think like that I'm sure) you have a wife you love and who loves you back. Try to minimize the damage this accident can have on your relationship. She cannot understand what you are going through and you wouldn't want her to be able to either, because there is only one way she could......<p>Also, I don't mean to be hard on you but you have got to get your priorities straight. Who gives a darn about your house. Who cares, please, please find the appropriate place for this on your list of priorities. The fact that you even mentioned it in your post is indication that you need to review your priorities. You even mentioned it ahead of your Father-in-Law having cancer. Please think about this. Don't tell me that you couldn't borrow from somewhere, anywhere for your wife to go and visit her parent, her Dad. This is coming from a person who lost her own Father to cancer. Money can always be found and we can always accumulate it again. You can't get time with an ill parent again. <p>As for your profession, I can only imagine the effect that is having on you, speaking from the perspective of a wife whose husband sank into depression after the company he worked for went bankrupt. The way to help yourself with this is again attitude. I have a friend who lost both his legs at 17 and went on to win gold medals in the World Amputee Olympics for long jump and track events? Look at Christopher Reeve. There are so many things you can do in life, you can study at home while you are recovering. If you are able to type to this forum, there are a multitude of things you can do that don't even involve physical exertion. DOn't think I am insensitive, I'm not, I have learned a lot in recent years through my own experiences and am really trying to prioritize and to get my own life on track. It's for living not existing..........<p>Pray too, I have only come back to my religion recently since I have had marital problems and it really does help. God works in mysterious ways. Even if you can just ask for the strenght to cope.<p>Take great care of yourself, I'll be watching out for some future messages from you. Apologies if I have indulged myself, didn't mean to, just got carried away :-)<p>Fionn <p>[This message has been edited by Fionn (edited 11-17-98).]

It made me so sad to read that you are concidering suicide as a way out of your problem.<br>I attempted suicide 13 years ago. It left me in a coma for 6 days.<br>I have a posting on this sight also! My child and I have been abused and I feel very alone.<br>However, I wont ever consider suicide again.<br>I PROMISE you.......<br>If you will just take a good look around you youll find something worth living for.<br>Keep your chin up and look at your problems one at a time.<br>They wont seem so big and youll find a way to the happiness your looking for!!!!!!!