This weekend was rough. I was asked to work Friday evening and Sunday. I let my wife know ahead of time. Being that she has felt I did not pay enough attention to her, over the years, I felt awful about this. So, on Friday, I discussed this with my boss, and told him I wanted to take on less responsibility. At least for a while, so that I can devote my time at home.<br>Things being hectic at home, I was unable to tell my wife this until Sunday evening. <br>Saturday evening we had gone to an affair. We both drank a bit too much. This affected her on Sunday, since she told me that she had been drinking over the past year to hide her depression.<br>So, on Sunday, when I told her about my responsibility change, she went into a guilt trip. She feels that I should not have done this. That what she did (her affair) is costing me, and the family, my job. She told me that she woke up Sunday morning depressed about drinking. So I replied that I wake up in a depression, daily. That we have to muddle through our issues and feelings. She told me that I should leave. That she is ruining my life, and I should not deal with this. I told I would not leave. That if she feels this way, she should leave. With that, she did. She proceeded to pack a light bag, and tell the kids she was going to her sister's house for the evening. I told her not to go. That I loved her. But, I did not stop her. Her last words to me were "Take care of my kids". This scared me. She could not go to her sister (or anywhere). Since her sister went through a bad divorce, she has no sympathy for my wife. So, an hour later she called me from a parking lot. She was confused with no place to go. I told her she had a place to go, where people loved her and wanted her. She wanted to go to a hotel. I told her she had a bed at home. <br>About a half hour later, she came home. While she was gone I had type her application for a college, so she reviewed it and made corrections. <br>When we went to bed, she asked why we keep hurting each other. I said I don't know, but we have to give each other time. <br>Then she layed her head on my shoulder. Eventually we made love, and she fell asleep on my shoulder. I don't know if the daily stress gets to her, or what.

Bill, if your wife is feeling depressed when she drinks alcohol, she really should try not to drink. And if she continues to feel depressed and guilty, it might be a good idea for her to talk to her doctor about the possibility that she is suffering from clinical depression. Clinical depression can be brought on or aggravated by alcohol use, even if the person is not an alcoholic per se. Alcohol is a depressant, so if she is already feeling depressed and guilty, she will feel much worse when she drinks.<p>terri

Terri,<br>Thanks. Although I am not privy to her conversations with her doctor, I do know he has suggested anti-depressants. I would assume that he told her to eliminate alcohol, too. <br>but, she refuses to take any medication. "You can lead a horse to water, . . ."<p>Thanks

Bill,<p>It could be the daily stress getting her down. It could be that she has so much going on that it is easier to just focus on the bad. When you just focus on the bad for some reason it seems bigger and worse than it really is becoming an insurmountable problem. I think what you did was the best thing you could have done. I think it is also positive that she came home. Knowing you can come home and actually doing it are two different things. Hang in there Bill. My prayers are with you. <p>Steph

After the "Leaving incident" on Sunday, my wife got some bad news on Monday. She was rejected from a local college. It really put her in a deeper depression. We discussed a college further away, but we were both concerned about her safety (driving home late at night) and how we would get the kids taken care of during the day.<br>Yesterday she was offered a part time job (3 days) not far from this college. It really perked her up. I told her that we could work out the kids schedules and anything else that comes up. <br>I really want her to know that I am there for her. Consistancy.