Just a quickie update - I am alive and well. My ex got married this past weekend to the OW. It all happened sort of fast(no, she's 50 - no baby). None of my kids nor I were told, but I heard via the grapevine. His kids were told, but only one was invited as far as I know. He did invite our "adopted" daughter and she went. There were about 20 -25 people in attendance. The bride wore a <B>red dress</B>!! NO LIE!!<P>I am doing well. I am dating the one guy I have consistently dated since the divorce. My life is happier and I continue to work on my issues and my awareness of what it takes to make and sustain a great intimate relationship with another person. I often reflect on what happened those 15 months, but I no longer beat myself up with "what ifs". I have not reached a point where I can be grateful for the good part of our life together just yet. But, I do definitely feel happy and do enjoy life, again.<P>Wishing you all the best,<P>Desiree <P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Roll Me Away (edited August 01, 2000).]

You sound good.<P>I would be willing to bet everything that my STBX marries his OW within a month after we are divorced. Tho, I feel like you. I really don't care what he does. I reflect back too but just shake my head now. My next big problem is my children being with this wretched person. My boys are fiesty and she's in for an awakening - Parent Trap kinda kids (they know about her and have been asking me to make Dad not let them see her, only they keep making up devilish schemes - which by the way I don't encourage and tell them that's not a nice way to behave). <P>Oh well, I know I'll have someone else too one day who I hope will be a good person. But even without that, I'll be ok too.

Desiree!<BR>Good to hear from you. I am glad you are doing well. Hang in there and let us know when you get married !!!<P>God Bless,<P>Bob

Desiree,<P>I know it hurts...<BR>...when my W marries the OM... it will hurt again.<BR>...I pray she doesn't ask to have my kids at her wedding.<P>I really am gald you are feeling better...<BR>...do go slow on the this new guy...<BR>...for your own sanity.<P>Like our parents say...<BR>...if he really loves you... he can wait!<P>Prayers dear friend... <P>Jim

Oh, my friend, it's so good to hear from you!! It just made my day.<P>You sound good. In spite of the circumstances, you sound very, very good.<P>Red dress is kinda fitting, dontcha think?<P>Just popping in to say hi! Keep it up, Hon. You're doing fine.<P>Love ya!<P>Lori

{{{{{{{desiree}}}}}}}}}}<P>Red?? Wow. Well you know she couldn't wear white, right??<P>Its great to hear you are doing well and that things are happier for you. Don't be a stranger. I didn't reply to a lot of your posts but I read them. <P>Prayers, Dana<BR>(lonelymom)

D,<P>A Red Wedding Dress????<P><B>ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!</B><P>You dear are soooo much better off without him. You know that.<P>Keep loving life like you do.<P>E-Mail comming your way.<P>Love Ya,<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

<B>weirded out,</B><P><BR>Thanks for caring and responding. Your story isn't too great, either. But, I got a big chuckle out of your description of your "Parent Trap" kids! How well I remember the original movie with Haley Mills! (Dating myself here.)<P><B>Bob,</B><P>HAHAHA!!!! I am NO WHERE near ready to jump in the frying pan again! I am just enjoying myself. I am checking in here every so often, and always read your posts, so I am keeping up with you, although I seldom post. Wishing you well with your teen!<P><B>Jim,</B><P>Thanks for the prayers - I love and need them all!!! <P>I am trying to go "slow", whatever that means. I am really attempting to put what I have learned, and continue to work towards learning, into practice, now. I work at keeping myself more attunded to another's feelings and perceptions, as best I can. I think it is really possible to meet another person's needs, as long as they are HONEST about their true feelings - if they like or dislike soemthing and are wiling to lay issues on the table and address them. I obviously didn't have that in my former marriage and that is why the affair was such a terrible blow - I had no idea he was unhappy at all, much less so unhappy he was looking elsewhere. See....no honesty on his part, and obviously a lack of being attuned on my part. At least I'm trying to do better and learn something here, so as not to repeat past mistakes.<P>So you are postponed, again? The nightmare just goes on and on and on. <P>Yes, I suspect it will hurt you very much when your stbx will marry her lover. I guess I am looking at it this way - at least my ex has done it all to me right now and I can better heal and get over this. In a way, I think it is better than going some time further in the futre and having them get married, and all this gets re-dredged up for me. This way, I can deal with the new marriage and the betrayal together, as I am still not done with the betrayal issues and hurt feelings. Oh me..the eternal optimist who can put a positive spin on anything!!!! <P>Keep your chin up - you can and will feel better and happier one day, so when you think about it - you only have BETTER things to look forward to one day!!!<P><B>Lori,</B><P>Thinking of you and your man all the time! Love that success story, girl. Thanks for thinking of me. Yes, I am doing just fine despite it all. I am taking the survivor track: I refuse to let my life be over because one person doesn't love me. Maybe I am stubborn, but anyway, that is my operating attitude and so far I keep moving foward and seeing progress in myself. Even my counselor discharged me as he saw me as sufficiently being able to cope and accept. I do NOT fully understand and I have not "gotten over this", but I do realize and accept that it is over. Anyway, keep up your good work, friend!!!<P><B>Dana,</B><P>Ditto about reading your posts. I seldom post, but do try to check in on old friends every so often. Yes, the red dress was fitting and truly a hoot! It gave me a good laugh to hear that one! Wishing you better times, too.<P><B>Bill,</B><P>Friend, I am glad I threw so much excitement your way! It was rather hilarious about the red dress for the wedding! <P>Yes, I do feel better off without him. I want a man who shares my values and is willing to work on things that need to be addressed. I do not want a dishonest coward. I do not expect perfection, but do expect a willingness to be a teamplayer and try, not a self-absorbed narcissist. So, yes, again, I am better off without him. <P>Hope Abbey's birthday went well.<P>Thanks to all my friends, here. I continue to pray daily for your marriages and for the restoration of "self" for each and every person here!! Take care,<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>