Dad went through colon cancer operation just fine. Post op report is that the cancer had not spread, ie. no lymph nodes were cancerous. So far so good!<P>I have two weeks vacation, and STBX kept telling me I was selfish and immoral and unethical to keep the kids for two weeks without them seeing her, and being available to them. I kept telling her to talk to her lawyer, and she agreed to the two weeks vacation.<P>Well, she talked to her lawyer after the second time, and her lawyer straightened her out. she did not object. Kids were a little hesitant, but after 5 nights, and having stayed with mom one day so I could take dad to post op appointment, and seeing her tonight for one minute, kids are very relieved that they are not wisked away to some far away place.<P>Thanks WILLBOK for the suggestion of staying here, and getting used to new apartment. Its the best for them so that they are very familiar, know and practice my rules, etc.<P>So finally, some good feelings about this stupid divorce. Mediator even jumped on my side when wife tried her victim shtick. Mediator had us separate twice, and talked to my wife first each time, and when I came in, she just said minimal stuff, didn't need to talk to me much at all. Mediator is not stupid, she knows what is going on, ie wife is unrealistic, and I am negotiating for my time. Although mediator does not like money negotiations, she is a GAL for the court, which is impressive.<P>Wife claims she will be liberal about extra time, (if i ask with something she thinks is special ) so when I picked up the kids at 2:15, and arrived at 2:07 and said lets get them going, (knowing that it would take 10 minutes to find them and get them ready in the car) she was a little irritated that I was 8 minutes early, and commented about the time being early to get going.<P>sheesh, I won't miss her much AT ALL!<P>So, one last step, the money part, dividing existing assets are simple, the CS will be the final obstacle, and all is done!<P>take care, and thanks for everyone's support!<P>thl<P>

Thl,<P>I am soooo glad to hear the news on your dad!<P>It will get better.........(that is the optimist in me!) <P>I am glad to see that you are sticking to your guns!.........<P>Take it easy and just hang in there!<P>Gina <P><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

THL,<P>Very good news to hear about your dad. This divorce stuff is nothing when you compare it to health and family.<P>Sounds like your moving along the right track, be strong and hang in there!<P>Dana<BR>

WIFTT:<BR>So glad that your dad is doing well. Make sure you monitor yourself so that it does not become a problem for you in later life.<P>It is great that your kids are enjoying being with you, remember to remain consistent and all should fall into place...but get ready for a new rollercoaster when adolescence strikes!!!!!!<P>You and your kids will get through this.....<BR>even if it did not make too much sense.<P>Glad the mediator helps.<BR>It is AMAZING how our WS feel that they have all the answers about everything.i.e. that their opinion is always correct and everyone else is a fool! Stick to what you think is best for your children in terms of visitation and when school starts...try to help get them ready etc and try , really try, to stay involved in all aspects of their lives. They will love and should love you both, but this is not a competition. It takes energy, willingness and most of all as you already know, patience to be there in ALL ways for children. <P>Are your children seeing a professional as yet, or someone they can really talk to..this is so important. My advice...the more you do with and for them, the stronger the bond will be in the long term.<P><BR>I have discovered that even if my kids do not like me, there is no prize for being a parent, so one must do what is the best for the children, even if they hate the decisions the parent makes.