I had a weird experience with stbx this weekend. I would like your opinions on this. My stbx went out of town for his vacation with the ho and of course didn't see his kids for an entire week and didn't invite them along either. Surprise, surprise. He rarely spends any real time with them anymore. Anyway, I am going to script what happened and see what you guys think. <P>I got a phone call at work while I wasn't at my desk. It was stbx calling from getting back from his trip with the ho. I called him back at home (where he lives with the ho). They had just gotten back in. We had a mix up with some money he paid the divorce attorney we are using and he was asking me about that. I told him I hadn't heard anything, but I would hang up and call the lawyer and then call him right back. He said, "NO! don't do that...I am just about to leave the house, um, um I will get back to you later." I said, "OK, I will find out and let you know."<P>Well, about 20 minutes later he called back. He was obviously on a pay phone. I could hear the traffic in the background. Anyway, he asked if I found out anything and I told him not yet because the paralegal was out of the office, blah, blah, blah. He went on to ask if he could go pick up the kids and take them to his mother's house and just spend a little while with them because he hadn't seen them in a week and on and on and on. I cut him off and said,"Of course you can." He said, "Well, it IS your weekend and everything, but I've really missed them." Acting all defensive. I said," When have I ever NOT let you see the kids? I have stuff to do after work anyway, keep them as long as you like." <P>Well, I thought it was odd he was going to his mom's and not his house. Then I got to thinking...he really didn't want me to call his house. Why? Because the ho is there? Of course she is...she lives there. Big deal, I know it, the kids have met her. Why can't I call? Why isn't he going to HIS house with HIS kids? <P>So I tried a little experiment. I called HIS house. Now he has caller ID. Someone (i.e. Ho) picked up the phone and slammed it back down after 4 rings. So I called back and it got slammed after 2 rings. So I called back (yes, I'm persistent) and no one answered this time...just let the answering machine pick it up. <P>I think all is not perfect in paradise. Sounds like she has some issues with his WIFE (still) calling him. And maybe has some issues with his kids coming over? What do you guys think? <P>I know this is mean, but I haven't felt quite this good in a while. I hope reality is crashing in on her. If I know my stbx, he WILL NOT quit talking to me just because she wants him too and she's probably pi$$ed. Any comments would be welcome. I just need another perspective on this. I hope life isn't all perfect for them anymore. I just can't help it.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Hi Keridwen,<P> Perhaps she is jealous that his W is still calling him?Maybe she thinks he's sneaking around with you BEHIND her back?<BR> I don't know,just a thought.<P> Maybe you should keep it up.<BR>You know,sound real sweet and all,on the answering machine.<BR> <BR> Might be fun? <P> ~~Murph

Very possible...<BR>...that there <B>is</B> Trouble in paradise!<P>Keep your expectations low...<BR>...it could be a temporary "Trouble in paradise". <P>Prayers...<P> <P>Jim

Sounds like trouble to me.<P>She needs to get used to you calling, though. Not that you will do it everyday for social purposes. But, you are the mother of his children and you are linked to the man for a good number of years to come.<P>By the way, what's an ho, or does it stand for what it sounds a lot like?<BR>

Hi Keridwen!<P> Yes, it does sound like all is not well in "paradise". <P> Sounds like an excellent opportunity to maybe try a little Plan A? Be there for him... his confidante, so to say. The ho will lovebust her butt off, lol! <P> Just a little advice... don't keep calling "paradise". She could use it against you, by telling H that you are "harrassing" her. Only call if you really need to talk to him! <P> But, I'm pleased to hear the news. <P> Mynabird

Just a little update...found out from my son that the ho called my H at his mother's not long after I called, complaining that I had called over there. My stbx told her I was just probably looking for him. He has mentioned several times since when we talk that I should page him...don't call the house. I am not "harrassing" her...I only call if I absolutely need to. But it sounds like she's feeling a little insecure. Stbx still hasn't said not to call per se, just acts real casual like - he's not going to be there - make sure I page him. He's gotten to where he only calls me from pay phones and from work. Honestly, I think it's funny. Now she knows how I felt for the last year and a half. <P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

Her getting all bent if you call the house is weird but not unusual. My ex's girlfriend is really insane. When they first moved in with each other 3 years ago she had an unlisted number and refused to let his kids have it. THey would have to page him and he'd call them back. His parents at that time were not aware yet just how crazy she was and gave our son their dad's number. He called once but nobody answered (it registered on their caller ID). He tried again an hour later and that too went unanswered but registered on the ID. So, I get home from work and I'm greeted by the police. Seems the girlfriend called police, showed them our number on the ID and said I had spoken with her and made threats!! Oh please! I got a letter from my employer proving I was in a meeting that entire time and could not have done it. Then she went over to the inlaws and chewed them out for giving out her phone number. It was then they realized she was crazy and she is no longer welcome in their home. To this day (3 years later) they still don't answer the phone if the kids call. Sometimes their dad calls them back, sometimes he don't. So, now they hardly ever call him. There is no way I'd ever call that house. Also, 99% of the time when my ex did call the kids he'd call early in the morning from work. It's a sign of insecurity and being jealous on the ow's part, plus a lot of immaturity. My husband's ex calls our house all of the time. Heck we even talk! If your ex continues to stay with this woman I hope she grows up.

Don't let them play these games with you!!!<BR>It is a form of control. I would continue to try to reach stbx at the home # <B>first</B> if you have a need to be in contact with him. Then, if no one answers call his pager #. Maybe he'll get the message that you are only calling because there is a legitimate need to speak with him, not to harrass anyone, nor make his life difficult.<P>Let him deal with the ho's attitude - hmmmm, maybe he'll finally realize what a loser she is. You don't have anything to be sorry for.