I'm under the same roof with my Wayward Wife.<P>She's filed for D.<P>She's having an affair with her HS crush.<P>She's 41, D is 4-1/2.<P>Married almost 12 years.<P><BR>Who has any Plan A experience in this situation? It's like walking the streets in a spaghetti western ala Clint Eastwood, a virtual Dodge City.<P>Ya really gotta know how to duck!!

I've had loads of experience, but nothing to say to you. You will have to find your own way through the sauce (and I don't mean alcohol I meant the spaghetti sauce).<P>Personally, I think I tried too hard. H had his cake and all the rest.....and I let it continue. He would deny, deny, deny.....and I knew in my heart that he was lying, but I let him stay because I had no proof. Now I do - Boy I wish I didn't have to find the truth the way I did but it's better than never really knowing.<P>I tried to keep it going because I remembered the way we were always best friends and the love that we shared was wonderful. I tried to keep it going because we have two children together - and the kids always want Mom and Dad together. <B>But</B> I realized that I was hurting myself so much by trying so hard for something that had become out of reach. I don't know where my H went but the man who came to replace him - I don't feel much kinship with even though the papers say that we're married.<P>Only you can know how much you can do, or can take. It's hard - so hard that it's scary. Keep posting. I stopped for a long time because my H would always ridicule me. I wish I had stayed, maybe I wouldn't have held on so long. <P>Best wishes.<P>