Hey Gang,<P>I don't really know why I want to really post this.......or what answers that I am really looking for....but I just feel as tho I need to get my thoughts out of this blonde head and maybe it will help.<P>I went out tonight to the school that I work at.I work there and also in the PTA w/the Fall Carnival Fundraiser.(so the next couple of months I probably wont be around as much)<BR>OH,I know you all will miss me soooo much!<BR>LOL<P>So,tonight we had what we call our "Back to School Bash"......we have all of the teachers there,serve Ice-cream (Murph,would love that!) ......all of the students get to meet there new teachers for the year and also have a chance to by all of there suplies and so on!<P>Earlier this week I did met our new Male PE teacher........he will be assisting the Head PE coach.(she is a women) I just have to mention that he is most gorgeous!!<P>So,tonight at this school function the latest gossip is going around that he wants to ask me out and thinks that I am gorgeous!<BR>ARGH!......I was just blushing when my girlfriend was telling me this......and said NO WAY!( I have always been said that I was "Cute" but not that.)<P>Of course hearing this first of all really is very flatering and it is nice to hear these things after you have been w/someone for so long.....(like your whole adult life)<BR>And NEVER heard anything remotely to that!<P>I forgot about it and continued on my way w/serving the ice-cream and talking w/all of the older students!(they all love my BTW,I am the only teacher there that gets down to there level and treats them like individuals,but not to mention the fact that I am just nuts and crazy.......and they love that!) <P>He came up to me later and did ask me out!<BR>AAAAAAaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!(man talking about blushing.)<P>I told him that honestly I wasn't really sure if I was ready to do that.......and if It was ok to get back w/him!<BR>He said that would be great,just fine,no hurry,didn't want to put pressure on me,just was impressed w/me when we met and wanted to get to know me better!<P>Ok.........Girls can we all say it together<BR>Yeah right!......sure you do!.......NOT!<BR>He is a man isn't he?....LOL<BR>(please guys don't take offence!)<P>I jsut don't know......I don't want to go out w/him not really knowing him at all.Making small talk and all of that crap!<P>This is what I thought........<BR>Maybe not go out....but that at school when we are working,we will have lunch at the same time......so maybe w/everyone else around,we can have lunch and just chat.That way I can get to know him.....and not have that pressure and uncomfortablness w/a "DATE"<P>Then after a couple of weeks or months or so,then if he still wants to go out,and I decide that I would then we can.....I already know him......(somewhat)and we can go from there!<P>We are starting are girls night out tomorrow night......we do this every other week,go out and have some fun!<P>He did ask one of the teachers if I was going tomorrow and if Men were allowed to come?........of course her being the little devil that she is....(and wants me to go out w/him.)Said oh,sure you can come!!<P>So he will be there tommorrow and I am jsut scared out of my mind!.......(my palms are sweating already as we speak)<P>Am I making this to much of a big deal?<BR>Does this mean that I am not ready for all<BR>of this?........ahhhhhhhh<P>Thanks you all for letting me babble!<P>You all have a good weekend!<P>Take it easy!<P>Gina <P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Hi Gina!<BR>Your post made me smile .. I don't have any advice.. just wanted to say hi, so if you were hoping to get some input I'm sorry <BR>It's always great when someone says good things about you... Hope it won't get unconfortable for you to see him.<BR>Good luck on the girls night tomorrow(is he going to be the only male there???)<BR>Meg<BR>

Hey Meg,<P>My post made you smile?<P>That is ok that you don't have any advice,sometimes it helps me just to get it out and then look at it......and then he helps me feel better. <P>Yes.......he will be...but the thing that has me so nervous is new of course travels very fast at the school,and after the function was over everyone one new that he asked me out.....and that he is going tomorrow for the sole purpose of being w/me!<P>UGH.....man,so much for cutting lose and dancing on the tables when he will be there eying me.....LOL....(ok,just kidding had to add that in there.....I am not tooo crazy)<P>I don't know........maybe I will be <<cough,cough,cough,>>>> or sorry,.....sick tommorrow and wont go!....(man,why is it that I feel like I am in highschool all over again!)....LOL<P>You take it easy!<P>Gina <P><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Dear Gina,<P>What a cool story! It's so nice to hear such a fun, positive one.<P>If you want to know what I think . . . I think you should certainly let him know that you have some interest -- smile, flirty glances, conversation at the cafeteria, etc. -- but the taking it slow and getting to know him better is also good idea. Drag it out a little bit. Enjoy the flirtation. How fun is that!? Then when you are ready and feeling comfortable, you can find some reason to "drop something off" at the gym and say something like. "Say, how about that date?" <P>Just don't let it go long enough that someone else snags Mr. Gorgeous. And, about the "Yeah, right" comments, sometimes we women find it hard to believe that men think about something else, but the good guys *really are* out there -- give him the benefit of the doubt.<P>Good luck and have fun, <BR>KristyAnn

KristyAnn,<P>Thank you. <P>Yeah.....I know what you mean about the flirting and all of that.(dang,it has been so long I don't think that I remember how to do that!)Ok......just a joke,I do,I think<P>I do think that taking it slow and getting to know him in a non formal way is a "Safe" way of doing it.<P>But far as waiting.......how long is too long,do you think?<P>Good point about giving him the benifit of the doubt......(I shouldn't jump to conlusions........LOL)<P>Oh,......man I think that I am getting a sore throat.....cough,cough......... <P>Gina <P><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Gina/Marilyn,<P> Here's old Murph to rain on your parade!<P> It's totally up to you,but at Boeing's,we always say,"Don't get your Honey,where you get your Money."<P> If things don't work out,you still have to see this person everyday.If things get nasty,he may tell everybody all about you.If things get really nasty,you may want to quit.<P> Sorry,I had to do it.<BR> But I listen to people at work swear they'll never date anyone from work again.Or the gossip runs the gauntlet.Or they read about themselves in the bathroom.Or they end up getting a transfer to get away.<P> Just had to warn ya,Gina(actually keeping you for myself!).<P> Now I did it.<BR> I ruined your day. <P> ~~Murph/PartyPooper<P>

Oh Murph/PP,<P>You didn't rain on my parade!<P>I will tell you this what you said is really nothing that I didn't already think of!<P>Thank you for looking out for me......you do have excelent points!!........(I know you have alteritive motives!!)....you sly dog you. <P>I don't know.......it is nice to know that you are found to be attractive to the oppisite sex....(ok,who am I kidding,it is great!!)LOL<P>I just don't think that my heart is in it. I supose that that is telling me that I am not really interested in going out right now.<P>Don't ever worry about hurting my feelings or saying something that I wouldn't like.<BR>I like honesty......and like to know what other peoples thoughts are.<P>I appreciate it Murph/The Yard God!!<P>What are you gonna do tonight???<BR>Any good plans?<P>Gina <P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Gina,<P> Tonight?<BR> Well,probably splash around in the tub with the ShowerMassager,then go to bed....alone <P> This divorce stuff is no fun at all.<BR> Always seems worse at night,guess you better cheer me up!<BR> <P> You're up kinda late,huh?<P> ~~Murph <P>

Murph,<P>Shoot,even the SM......is getting a tad old!<BR>LOL.... <P>I know what you mean......I think you are right....I miss so much just laying on the couch wraped up in a blanket and watching some TV........and also holding eachother in bed....<<<<<<<<<<<SIGH>>>>>>>>>><P>Ok.....back to reality!.....LOL<P>Yeah......can you believe that I am up this late.....get to sleep in tho...so that is cool!<P>I can cheer you up.....or at least give it the ole cheerleader try!.....LOL<P>Man I can't believe that school is starting!<P>We have testing the first part of the week,man those lil guys are sooo funny!<P>Man the story's that I could tell you......<BR>kids are constant FREE entertainment!<P>Gina <P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----<p>[This message has been edited by w.g.up.h (edited August 19, 2000).]

Gina,<BR>Going slow is good. How about double dating or the group thing is good.<P>I was informed last night that my name was borught up in a woman's group!!!!! Of course they didn't say whether it was in a good or bad way. <P>But bad publicity is better than now publicity right, right??????<P>Bob<P>

Bob,<P>LOL......I don't know about that!<P>I would rather have it be good than bad.<BR>(but hey,that is me always wanting to make<BR>other people happy and to like me.)LOL<P>So,how was it that you found out about it?<BR>Is there a way that you can find out?<P>Man,this could be good for you.........have all the lady's swarming after you!!<P>This could be fun!?<P>Gina <P><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Ooooh ooooh!<P>I have a possible good case scenario... (but agree with Murphy's overall opinion of mixing work with personal life - not a good idea generally speaking)<P>I wouldn't worry about losing him, nor would I be overly concerned about having him work there. Trust yourself, don't do anything before you feel comfortable. Also, give yourself time to let him prove to you that he is worthy of dating you. With some time, you will see what his intentions are. Maybe he is just scoping out the possibilities, or maybe he is a decent guy. None of us needs the first anymore. <P>Good luck! I know exactly how good it feels, to feel attractive again - even if it doesn't work out as dating.<P>And Bob, my experience is that women in groups, talk good and bad about men, and it is usually honest - but they wouldn't have told you about it unless it was EXTREMELY positive. Extremely.<p>[This message has been edited by honey.west (edited August 28, 2000).]

THAT was the reason why I posted the questions about how many dates do you have to do before you find the right one, especially for us newly minted divorcees.STBDivorcees!<P>I think we go some good advice in that post.<BR>Gina, I think Honey.West has the best answer. Keep it as work friends for your first year. In my opinion, if he is gorgeous, and single, and askes you out on a date immediately, then he knows how to work women, or at least wants to be the first one with the new beauty on the block.<P>Keep it at lunch until you know him. And then get some other opinions from the women around who would know him. I would think you shouldn't pass up a good learning experience, you know if may be a great experience to base future expectations upon.<P>BTW, how else would you get to know him other than to be friends at work?<P>thl<BR>

Honey West,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>mixing work with personal life - not a good idea generally speaking)<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yeah......I do agree w/that.....and the scary thing is bc the school is pretty small,news travels........FAST!<BR>It isn't like I work at a big corperate office where there is a plethera of Men!LOL<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>He backed off completely, (some men asked me out knowing of my situation - I viewed them as vultures hovering over a weakened victim).<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Man do I see what you mean........ARGH!<BR>For me I think that would be a respect thing.(Backing off I mean and no pressure)<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>what more of an ego boost could he have given me - he didn't date anyone during that time.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Man........you are so right.....how sweet!<BR> <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>I wouldn't worry about losing him, nor would I be overly concerned about having him work there.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Naw,I am not worried at all about any of that........or at least the losing part.<BR>Even tho we work there........we won't see eachother all that much,so no biggie! <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Good luck! I know exactly how good it feels, to feel attractive again - even if it doesn't work out as dating.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You know you are so right!........I have been w/my stbx since I was 19.....(and mind you back then I WAS a "Hottie")You know after getting older, 2 kids, a little weight<BR>You have a H that doesn't want to make love to you........moves out and leaves you....this is all not good on the ole ego!<P><BR>Thank you HoneyW.......I appreciate it!<P>You take it easy!<P>Gina <P><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Thl,<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>In my opinion, if he is gorgeous, and single, and askes you out on a date immediately, then he knows how to work women,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P><BR>Yeah.......I do think that you are probably right about that one......(man talking about not waisting any time!)LOL<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>or at least wants to be the first one with the new beauty on the block.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Haw,gollie gee whiz,shucks, :.....oh,wait that was a compliment wasn't it?....oh,never mind!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Keep it at lunch until you know him. And then get some other opinions from the women around who would know him. I would think you shouldn't pass up a good learning experience, you know if may be a great experience to base future expectations upon.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I think that you are right about that one!<BR>I actually wouldn't mind just having a "Bud" that I can hang w/!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>BTW, how else would you get to know him other than to be friends at work?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You don't have to work w/a person and get to know them only through that avenue!LOL<P>People are asked out all the time......if they want to go out they go out on a "Date",YUK.....as you would put it.LOL<P>That is how they get to know eachother.....frankly I don't want to have anything to do w/that!.......(and since I only work w/2 men.......one of which is married I don't see my self out on too many dates!)<P>I just have to also say.......what is it about me......(even tho you all can't see me.)LOL.....I feel as tho I have this stamped across my forhead........<BR>"EASY"......I have been asked out on ocasion as of lately......what I know it isn't the way I dress.....I dress nice but not trampy or anything resembling easy!<P>Is it my confidence in my self.........just in the way that I carry my self.....always a big smile.....I am friendly.....can talk to anyone........is that is my friendliness being mistaken for wanting a "Good Time".<P>Thanks for your input Thl,I do appreciate your wisdom!<P>Take it easy.........(dang,there I go again using that word....UGH!...LOL)<P>Gina<P><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Gina,<P>being friendly at work is an easy way to make friends to get to know him, other than casaul activities. Otherwise, it would be in a different setting which could be an invitation to ASSUME a DATE. So keep it friendly at work, just don't DATE someone at work. I have some great women friends at work, and I would never consider going on a date with one of them until we each had different jobs. BTW, i work in a corp office with total of 20 people, CEO, CFO, CLO, and the rest of us. News travels instantly, if not quicker!<P>I also think that not wearing a wedding ring, being more confident about understanding your relationship and yourself actually gives one self confidence to understand life, and participate in it with a lot more vigor and acceptance.<P>You are probably exhibiting the inner GINA and less of GINA the wife than you realize. And other people pick up on that by the way you present yourself. Besides, I can't hear you or see you, but you do sound easy going and fun, (like recreational companion possibilities, like converstaional possibilities?) don't sell yourself short, <BR>just go for the practice for the experience, and you will do fine! actually you will probably do great! and you never know who you will run into accidentally!<P>you are well into your own personal recovery, keep up the good work.<P>thl<p>[This message has been edited by WhenIfindthetime (edited August 20, 2000).]

Gina<P>Just my .02---get to know something about this person before dating. The best way will be thru the grapevine at work. That means knowing him on a profesional level first - since you'll be working at the same school. You can tell quite a bit about a person by the way their peers perceive them in their professional lives. Sure, sometimes an act can go a long way..... maybe I'm just overly cautious right now. Everyone thinks my stbx is just a <B>great</B> guy......except for what he's done to me and the kids......can't always tell a book by the cover - know what I mean?<P>I don't mean to rain on your parade - you gorgeous thing you. Isn't that nice to know that you are attractive? You betcha - we all need that. Go slow.........sounds like you're already thinking that way.

Hey Gina,<P>I'd have to agree with Murph, except I have a different saying...<P>"Don't *hit where you eat!" ha,ha.<P>The one and only time I ever, what to you say, went out(?) with someone I worked with was the OM. Not only that, he and I have the same advisor. So, not only did I break one of the ten commandments, I broke two of my own. Ouch! That was the sound of my foot hitting my *ss. Furthermore, I'm still stuck working with slimeball till I graduate. Talk about incentive to graduate!! And I did think long and hard about leaving. <P>On a lighter note, it is nice to know that someone you thought was cute thinks you are cute too. <P>Murphy,<BR>My roommate is either clueless or doesn't you-know-what, cause she installed a Shower Massager (aka AquaPal) and did not put the hose extension on it. Ah well. Maybe she just doesn't want me running up the gas and water bills??

<B>Hey everyone,</B> <P>I will give you all of the juicy details of the evening! <P>We all met up at our usual hang out!<BR>(we do this everyother week,during the school year.) <P>Wes,(that is his name.)was already there along w/ a couple of the other women.<P>We really had a fun time!(all of us!)He is actually quite the funny guy!....UGH!(why couldn't he just be this big stick in the mud.)LOL.......we talked and laughed and even played a couple of games of pool.<BR>(I sometimes can be a pool shark,I grew up w/my 2 older bro's and my Dad w/a pool table in the basement)..........needless to say he was pretty surprised that this "blonde" was making some pretty stragetic shots!!...LOL<P>All of the girls left.........and of course he asked me if I was leaving or if I wanted to stay and have one more drink.AAAAAaahhhhh,<BR>Naturally they all left me there w/him!<BR>(can you say that was planed!)LOL<P>I did stay........and said that I would finish my fairly new beer and then leave.<BR>Well,3 beers later........we are still<BR>talking! <P>I even went on to explain the MB principles and everything........he said that it sounded really great and was gonna go out and buy him the book.(sure......does he know just what to say or what!).....LOL<P>We said goodnight......he walked me to my car........opened the door for me.... (Murph,ya catch that????).....LOL<P>I said that I would see him on Monday and I left!........<P>He did seem like a nice guy.I will get to know him at work and that is it.<P>I just don't think that "Dating" him would be such a great idea.<P><B>Thl</B>........I do agree w/you.I hope that is what it is.I do feel pretty confident so I supose that it does show.......<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>you never know who you will run into accidentally!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Oooooh,Thl,I love surprises!!!!......LOL <P><B>RCoaster,</B><P>That is the hardest, you are right.........you can't tell a book by it's cover.Oh,it is ok......don't worry about raining on my parade.It is so good go get the feed back of all you great people!! <P>It is a fantastic feeling when the other sex thinks that you are attractive!But that also doesn't mean that I have to date that person.<BR>(can you say Yippee!) <P><B>TS,</B><P>LMAO..........that is too funny. <P>Yes.....it is a great feeling to know that you are still found attractive after being w/someone for so long.(and not told that you were.) <P>I am getting pretty tired of my best friend SM!.........LOL....You know it is kinda funny bc my water bill hasn't been to bad.<BR>LOL........ :<P>Thanks for the response TS,.....I do so appreciate it!!<P>You all take care......I will let you know <BR>More on the "Days of Gina's Lives"......LOL<P>Gina [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>"If we deny love that is given to us,if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss,then our lives will be empty,our loss greater!"-----Anonymous----

Gina,<P> OK,do I have to explain it to you? <P> Of course,he opened the cardoor for you. <BR> <BR>He's"courting"you.If you were married to him,he probably wouldn't keep that up for long.Ask some other married women if their H's still do that,and see what they say.I asked a gal at work if her H brought her flowers,and she started laughing at me(like I said something hilarious!).<BR> <BR> All I can say is,watch your step. <P> <P> Hey Student,<P> Just curious...Is your roommate a Blond?<BR> So,what does she use? A stepladder? <P><BR> ~~Murph<BR>