I have been considering taking my ring off yet I am still married, at least legally. Wife took hers off 2 weeks ago!<P>She already seems to be looking! Although she says she is not!<P>What do you guys think? My ring means alot and I don't want wife to get impression that I am looking because I am not!

I say leave it on.<P>If you're not looking and you have the ring on, other women won't come up to you either and if they do - they're not for you anyway.<P>Taking it off my be interpreted as a sign of giving up on your marriage, but not necessarily that you're looking to her.<P>Is that how you feel about your wife taking hers off?<P>I know it's a constant reminder, but you'll know when it's time to lose the ring. But, it's going to take that - TIME!

Yeah, that is what I thought "leave it on". I just feel so up in the air, so insecure. And the worst thing is one day I feel ok and the next I feel like crape!<P>I am sure you understand doc!<P>I had lunch with a friend and I will be seeing another friend about 3 pm. Just using my support system and trying to remain sane!

Ditto to that response, take the ring off when YOU feel it's right. Focus on what YOU feel is right, and what makes YOU feel better. I think I suggeted a group support by Divorce Care for you, PLEASE check it out. The up and down feeling that you have is very "normal" in your situation. It is like climbing a mountain, and step by step you get closer to the top, where finally you will look at the beautiful view and say 'I Made It!'. Take care. <P>------------------<BR>Zonie

Hurting,<P>I'm not sure if I will ever take my ring off. I certainly am not going to before the decree and right now, I doubt I will anytime soon after that. I believe I said, "until death do us part". I also believe that God wants our marriage to be healed even more than I do for many reasons, not the least of which is the children, but also because "He was a witness to our covenant". I believe that he created marriage to model His unconditional love and the triangle of family, husband, wife and children is actually a model of the Trinity of God. My wife can't seem to consider forgiving me for what I've done. The question is, can I forgive her for what she is doing now? I have to, I'm commanded to, it's not easy but when I am humble before the Lord, he gives me the gentle spirit I need.<P>One thing that I have found that helps with the roller coaster of emotions is reading Psalms. They are greatly uplifting and encourage my spirit.<P>God Bless you,<P>Repenting