House went up for sale last night, this is so sad! I keep hoping that something will happen to bring why wife to her senses but it seems futile!<P>I need to move on and hope that GOD will direct her appropriately!<P>

Just curious, as I don't know your situation, but how long has she had to come to her senses? My therapist keeps telling me that it often take 3-6 months of separation to accomplish anything, and that as long as the leaver is pressured by the leavee, they won't make a decision. Why should they? They have all the time in the world.<P>He also told me that if I put the house on the market too soon, that I will force her to make a decision that she may not be ready for. He says that many people wrongly assume that if they get back together, that they can find a new house. But that they don't realize the feelings of anger and resentment that are created within the leaver as they weren't given the time that they asked for, and they perceive it as an act of selfishness.<P>Again, I don't know if it's been 2 weeks or 2 years for you or what has transpired, or what your financial situation is.<P>I just know that I threatened it after 7 weeks, but came to my senses and decided to be patient.

She stated she want divorce about 9 weeks ago, it was her dicision to put the house on the market.<P>She filed for divorce about 12 days ago.<P>I am in therapy and she has stopped.<P>I am trying to move forward but I have three children 5,8,19 who are also involved.<P>It is tough situation as I lover more than I can express!

Wow, it does sound like a tough situation, I feel very bad for you.<P>I don't know what else to say.<P>I am full of questions, as I am in a similar situation, but I don't feel right asking you so that I can learn.<P>Take care.

ask any questions you like, I will share with you. I am open

Okay, here is a list of questions. Answer any that you feel comfortable with, and many will only need short answers.<P>How long have you been married?<BR>Ant past trauma in her life? (abuse, etc.)<BR>Is she depressed?<BR>Did she leave abrubtly?<BR>Did either have an affair?<BR>Did you, as I, take the marriage for granted?<BR>Did she tell you that she doesn't know if she loves you anymore?<BR>Was she unsure about throwing it all away?<BR>Did she say that she doesn't have a partner/companion with you?<BR>Did she say she has no feelings at all?<BR>Does she say she has no time to think about it?<BR>How long have you been separated?<BR>Is she willing to date?<BR>Did/do you date her? How's that go?<BR>Have you been pursuing her?<BR>Did you beg for another chance?<BR>Do you still?<BR>Did you give her space?<BR>Has she told you that she misses you?<BR>When together, do you bring up the relationship?<BR>Has she said that this is harder for her?<BR>Have you educated yourself? <BR>Do you act in a loving way around her? On the phone?<BR>Do you initiate physical contact?<BR>Do you still try and kiss her?<BR>Did you bring up, initially, selling the house?<BR>Did you bring up, initially, getting a divorce?<BR>Is there now anyone else that she's involved with?<P>If you are now giving her space, is she acting any differently?<P>As I mentioned, mine has been gone 2 months. For the first 7 weeks, I am guilty of doing all the wrong things around her. I feel that I have pushed her away, and not given her space. I have probably acted selfish around her, giving her the impression that I only care about my own feelings.<P>Most of what I ask, I did wrong. I am now prepared to sit back, and give this as much time as need be, even if she files, even if we divorce.<P>I appreciate anything that you want to share as it will help me to learn.<P>Thank you.<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Still Praying (edited August 25, 2000).]

Wife asked for divorce based on some dishonesty from me. There are no affairs that I am aware of . we have been married 9 years and have three children.<P>She says she cant trust me therefore she cant love me! I am in counseling and I am recovering alcoholic.<P>sHE CONTACTED ReALTOR and I just show up for the meetings.<P>This has been going on now for three months we are still living in the same house but in different rooms.<P>It is great fun, I am very upset most of the time but I do function.<P>I have now turned her over to GOD and maybe he/she can do something because I certainly can't!