I need some help here, not sure where to start,,,, my wife had an affair, I found out, we agreed to work things out but after 8 months things just were not getting any better between us, I started an affair, things got worse between me and my wife, just over the weekend we had a massive fight and she ended up saying she wants a divorce, to make matters worse I have just also found out that she is currently having another affair! what a mess, just needed to vent I guess, how do I survive this???

One day at a time. Sounds like you both have issues to sort out. Counseling should be your first step, whether it be together (best) or separate.

Well, that's always a tough question.<P>I prayed a lot. A lot. And a lot of those were more like sessions where I yelled at God. And He was always there and He always listened. But He never did rescue me, just pluck me out of the mire and plop me down in a place where life was hunky-dorey and everything was perfect and beautiful. And that made me really mad. <P>But if I did my homework (sought answers, looked at possibilities, tried to do the most God-centered things in the situation), He always provided answers and everything turned out alright. He was my strength and comforter. He listened. And He cared.<P>I also spent 18 months going to S-Anon, a 12-step group for coaddicts of people who have sexual addiction problems (affairs, pornography, self-abuse, sexual anorexia, etc.) It was a place to share experienc, hope, and courage and was very helpful in my recovery. I began to see what I could control and what I couldn't. His choices were his and the affected me but they were not something I could control.<P>For more information on S-Anon, you may call 615-833-3152. That's the phone number for their international offices. They can give you more information on the problem and about groups in your area.<P>g<BR>

First you need to stop the retaliation! Second, I would find a good therapist, that values marriage and start working on yourself. You might also seek some spritual guidance!<P>Pray for the ability to forgive your wife and yourself. I hear your pain as I am there with you.