I continue to want to work plan A with the hope that some day some way we will be able to get back together!<P>The problem is that the whole process of divorce is debilitating. Don't sleep right , don't eat right, have a constant fight with my emotions. I am continuing to see a therapist AND PRAYER is occuring yet I feel very far from GOD right now.<P>I have to push myself to pray! I am just so tried of the constant emotional turmoil and when I think I am in a good place something happens to shake it all up.<P>Again, I wonder if I will ever feel normal again? Will I ever wake up with out first thinking of her or trying to devise a plan to woo her back.<P>She was looking at party dresses on the internet on Sunday night and this act just made my skin crawl. I have always trusted my wife and now I don't. It bothers me greatly and I feel I have no outlet for my feelings.<BR>I am tried of crying, tried of the pit in my stomach, tried of wanting to hold her and not getting any thing back.<P>Please GOD offer some relief!

When things first "hit the fan" with me, a good friend of mine, my brother, told me to get to the gym. Blindly I followed his advice, THE DAY after she moved out I started going a few times a week. Not to really meet anyone or anything like that, just to get out some pent up energy. <P>Well it has now been six months since she left and I am STILL going 3 to 4 days a week after work. Lost weight and I physically feel great. And keep in mind that exercise will also help get your sleeping and eating patterns back on track.<P>The most important part of it all is when I leave the gym I feel like I am "on top of the world". All the stress and pain is gone, at least for a little while. If I had a terrible day, the workout just helps release all the stress.<P>And it will keep you busy and your mind on other things. <P>And while its is the absolute last thing I want, if my wife continues with her divorce intentions, at least by the end of it I will be looking physically ready to move on.<P>I can not tell you how many days there were where I felt like I just could not go on - Then I forced myself to go workout and by the end my whole attitude had shifted and some semblence of self-confidence had returned.