My wife and I have been married for just over three years, together for 7. Through counselling I have learned that I am verbally abusive towards her. After reading all the website here has I have obtained a list of books to read. The problem is is that she thinks that all is lost and she isn't in love with me although she still loves me. I do not want a divorce and I am committed to putting this back together. I am seeing a counsellor to help with temper control and feel that I am doing better. She is afraid that if she lets down her guard I will just pounce. I understand where she is coming from after looking back I can see what happened, what I did to her. Advice, course of action, or any other help would be appreciated. I am totally confused and I feel she is leaving/gone.<p>

Jecar<p>It very difficult to make up for past mistakes, but not impossible. You say your wife still loves you. This is a very important issue. Ask your wife what it is she would like you to do. It is possible she is looking for the man she fell in love with 7 years ago. I know you have only been married 3 years, but you stated you have been together for 7.<p>The fact that your are seeking help is importaant. Talk to your wife, remember communication is one of the most important thing in any relationship.<p>Do things for her that you normally would not do. or did not do in the past. Don't hound her or belittle her. If she does not want to talk to you, understand that she is hurting too and respect her. The most important factor in a ralationship is LOVE and Understanding. If two people work to love and understand the other's feelings they will be successful. She has feelings too, and from you have stated, you forgot about in the past. Your are taking steps to correct that.<p>By doing things around the house for her without being asked will be noticed.<p>I know this is not a lot of advice, but I hope it helps.