A -- hey. are you out there? you wouldn't by any chance happen to be someone I know would you? I am the SIL of the OW and I referred you to this site for help. I've been looking for you since I found out from SIL last week about the separation. I thought this might be you after I saw some of your posts. ANYWAY, if this is you (SC), (trying not to give away your identity ), I am SO sorry for how things are turning out. I feel so awful for you and about it. I didn't call this time when I found out b/c she told me what was going on and that you knew, I didn't want to "throw more wood on the fire" so to speak. BUT, I do want you to know that I am sorry for you and your children. I've tried to explain to SIL (OW) that this is a hard road they have both chosen. It will never be easy for them. <BR>She really does feel bad about all of this. Of course, obviously not bad enough to just tell him to leave her alone forever. I can't believe it happened in the first place after she saw all the shi* I went through. I just don't understand. But, I guess I never will. It's really hard. She is my best friend in the entire world. She was the one I called at all hours of the night crying and upset. She drove hours to just be with me and help with the kids. She hated "our" OW with me. So, how, just a few months later could she find herself doing this, I don't know. She doesn't know either, I have asked her. She says she just really loves G. I know you have a lot of anger right now and I'm glad you are finding support here. I would NOT have survived without this board and K last year. K is a good person, though. Just a good person who has done an AWFUL thing. She's not the sleep around type of OW most people picture. She's also got a lot of guilt over this whole thing. I'm not defending her by telling you this because I DON'T agree with ANYONE breaking up another marriage. I just wanted you to know that she does know she has hurt you and she feels awful about it. See, our "OW" never cared that she hurt me and never apologized and never even felt awful for anyone but herself. I would have liked to know she felt as guilty as K does. <BR>The next few months will be hard for you. But, you will survive them AND you may come out on the other side MUCH better off than you are now or were before.<BR>Also, don't discredit all of your and G's years together as something that didn't matter. He does love you, how could he not. He has had children, life, loss, years of memories with you. They may not seem to matter to him now since he has chosen another path, but it will always be a part of him. He's just kinda lost sight of all of that right now. But, he will remember one day. Just do whatever it takes for you to get yourself over this. Cry if you need to, scream and beat on your pillow if you need to, and go out and have some fun (you deserve it!). Let me know if you need anything. And, again, I am SO sorry about all of this. Make sure you come here as much as you need to. It's addictive, but it helps. -- Beth<BR>P.S. Trapped Mom, if you are not "A," please ignore this message. I just guessed wrong.

A -- thinking about you and praying for you. -- B

.<p>[This message has been edited by Trapped Mom (edited March 21, 2001).]