Hi,<P>I need advice. H and I are getting a divorce. I can't afford this house. House payments are 727.00 and I only will clear with child support $1800-1900 a month. So it is clear I can't afford this house. H wants to move back into house with OW and her kids which makes it a hard pill to swallow. We put so much time and energy into this house getting it just how we like it. <P>I took the kids to see a house that I've been thinking about renting. Its only 300 a month and with a little paint and some wallpaper and border I think could be really cute. My kids are very unhappy with it. They all looked so sad and my daughter cried. She had spent so much time getting her room just how she wanted it and now she has to move into something she totally hates. They want to stay here. They want to keep what is thiers. I can't blame them I wish we could stay. Anybody have any advice for me as to what to do? How do I handle these unhappy kids? Do I work three jobs just to keepe and never see them or do we remain a family and live in a less then perfect house?<P>HELP<P>JIll

Does ex really want his kids out of there house? If so he is a real jerk in my mind. It seems to me that you could make house payment if you cut back in other areas, of course i don't know what othwer bils you have!<P>Hang in there!

I don't have any experience in this, but if you have teenagers, why not ask them to work parttime to help with expenses? They might be willing to do this if it means keeping the house. Earning $100 a month won't be many hours for a teen but would make a big difference for you.<P>Discarded

My 16 yr old daughter does work and she pays for everything herself. Which is a big help.<BR>Just the average monthly bills add up. Utilities 130.00 heating bill 65.00<P>insurance car and rental 100.00<BR>cable 45. phone 50.00 groceries, gas,dr bills ect it all adds up. I would like a little money leftover to put away.<BR>carpayment 200.00<P>cut back where?<P><BR>

Crazy or what?<BR>You are not crazy. I now am at the start of the same problem. Do I keep the house and just barely have enough money to make it or move on and let H have the house. The thought of another woman in my house is just to devestating to imagine. This was our house together, not meant for another woman and her kids. Have you ever thought about just selling the house and both of you moving on to somewhere else? That sounds to be the best solution.

What state do you live in? I have a different situation - I'm an at-home mom. In Michigan, I can go for alimony and also have the family home maintained until the youngest is 18. I believe the maintenance would be 100% during alimony, but after that 50%. So why can't you ask for half the maintenance on the family home until your youngest is 18, then the house is sold and split. No one wants to put the children out of their home - except, of course, their loving father. The court may go along with you. It's a better investment for you both in the long-run holding onto the house and you still split it - only difference is you split it much later rather than right away. I can't see any judge throwing the kids out of their house and giving it to the man and his "lover", but states are all different.<P>However, realize he may try some dirty tricks like quitting his job like mine did to try to get out of it. Still have to court so I don't know exactly what'll happen now. Good luck, God bless.<P>------------------<BR><BR>Kathy

I've pretty much decided that I am going to move. Their is to many memories here and I need a fresh start. The kids are better with the idea also. In fact they are kind of excited about having each their own rooms ect. It will be an adjustment but it will be ok. H and I agree that he will now take over the payments(how he can afford it I don't know) and live here until the house is sold. <P>Thankyou all for your advice and caring.<P>Jill

Jill,<BR>I read somewhere that getting the house is the biggest mistake women make in a divorce. The upkeep/maintenance on the house usually breaks you unless you have a well paying job.<P>The advice I read suggested looking at the retirement funds since if you were a stay at home mom, you don't have any retirement and if you are just starting out, then you still don't have any retirement.<P>Sell the house, or get your half out of it and then start anew.<P>BEst of luck and God bless,<P>Bob