It has clear become time to move on and forget about working things out with my spouse.<P>she is clearly the most stuborn woman around and she has no concept concerning what she is doing. She appears to be living in a fantaze.<P>She has little or no problem with disrupting the kids lives and reqularly lives the kids to meet her needs.<P>It is starting to make me angry!

HO1,<P>Welcome to my world...<P>Let the anger go it will only hurt you in the ened...<P>A friend told me it is better to be resented than to have one...There is alot of truth in that...<P>Bill

I agree with you, resentments just eat you up. I pray for her every day!

Prayer for those that have wronged us is a gift from God...it is funny how that eases the resentment.<P>Bill

To quote WhoDat's sign off.<P>"Resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."<P>Kind of sums it all up doesn't it?<P>Take care and God Bless,<P>JL

Unfortunately, I have finally come to the same conclusion. While I still have some hope, I now know to retain my own piece of mind I truly have to "let go". I have been reluctant to talk with her about legal aspects of a divorce, but last night I began writing the most difficult letter in my life. It details what I think is fair for our divorce. She has been casually asking me for this for a few months, well now she is going to get it.<P>I am going to try to remain as dignified as I can - The letter will be brief, will describe what I believe will be a fair split of marital assets and that's it. In NJ we have a "no fault" divorce with a waiting period of 18 months from date of separation before it is finalized - that leaves us about 11 more months.<P>While I still hold strong to my convictions about how wrong a divorce is, I need to stop allowing her to hurt me with her words and actions. It is now time for me to take back some control of the situation. From this point forward I will be doing my best to avoid any contact with her (exept for legal matters which I will handle very business-like). <P>She knows exactly how I feel - she knows how much I love her - I have told her and written her many times about it. She knows I would have done anything, anything to make our marriage work, and she knows how sorry I am for my part.<P>What a difficult decision it has been, but you know what? It came out of the blue. I was driving and it was as if a voice said "Mike, you've tried for the past year without any change in her ways, it is time now to let go and begin to move on". I know God does not want us to divorce, but I also read in the bible that if a "non-believer" leaves a marriage, the abandoned spouse need not fear - he/she will walk with in Grace of God.<P>God works in mysterious ways, I know. Maybe by letting go (really letting go) He will bring a miracle into our lives once more (whether that means a reconciliation or not, I don't know)<P>But I have to start thinking about me, my family and friends. They are all so worried about me. And I have begun worrying about myself as well. I will no longer "tip-toe" around her feelings, trying not to upset her.<P>Its time I made a stand.<P>hurtinginOmaha1, maybe it is time for you to make that stand as well. But just be sure you feel you tried all you can to make it work. If it ends badly, at least you will be confident in knowing you did your best - that is all any of us can do.<P>God Bless.