Aileen,<p>We all have our side of the story and if there is already a confrontation going on then he is less likely to hear any of the good things you say. There has to be a time when things aren't as bad as others. I would take this time to remind him of the good qualities that he has. I tell my H almost daily what a good father I think he is. I only tell him the things I truly believe. I also remind him that although we are having problems I think he is a good person. I also try and be sure to say these things out of the blue so he doesn't think they are said to cover something up. So he will know I am sincere when I say them. I really think counseling would really help the two of you. It really is a place where both sides of the story can be taken into consideration. If you wait for things to improve to go you may never get there. If he is willing do it. If he uses it for a precursor to divorce then that is his choice. You will be able to say that you tried everything. I would also tell him that talking here is better than talking to all your friends and family. I could pass you on the street and not know you at all. Hang in there Aileen. Unfortunatly this forum doesn't have many happy marriages in it because those that are happy are not seeking help. I feel like mine is getting better but the progress is very slow. Almost mind numbingly slow. Hope today is better for you. <p>Steph

Steph,<br> I've decided to stop posting. It is a love buster. I do talk about his good points frequently to him and to others. However, his mind is set that all I do is put him down. I will try counseling if he will go. Worried about getting really isolated by not talking to anyone. Wish you luck in your marriage. Thanks for the support you have given.<br> Aileen

Aileen,<p>You will always be in my prayers. Good Luck.<br> <p>Steph

Aileen (if you are still here),<p>I have thought about quitting posting. My H goes through his jekyll/Hyde deal about this. Either i am avoiding him and only thinking about negative things that I read here, or it is ok for me to talk about our marriage with ya'll.<p>so I can't decide if it is a love-buster or not. Sometimes I think I could not function without this forum. He does not want to start counseling until January (after all of the Christmas busy-ness and our work overload), so I think of you guys as my therapists. He doesn't want me to talk to friends or family yet, so I feel so choked and bottled up if I can't post.<p>So what do we do? Quit this forum and die partially inside, or keep posting for our mental health and fight about it?<p>Maria