Hi,<P>Some of you may know my story from the infidelity board but for those of you who don't here is a brief outline of my story.<P>H met OW number 1 on the internet spring of 1999. Went 1600 miles to another state to see her and her kids July 1999. (told me he needed some alone time) Moved OW and 3 of her 8 kids to Mn and lived with her for 2 months. H begged to come home after 1 month. I made him wait a month to be sure. H moved back in Oct 1999. Went through alot of withdrawel from OW ect. The whole time I plan A'd him. I was kind and considerate and understanding ect. I thought we were doing good. We went on a second honeymoon in April first trip together in 16 years. Then he met his new "friend" Teresa and he started his crap again. The lies, not talking to me ect. I wasn't going to put up with it this time so after 2 months of it I booted him out the end of July. Of course you know where he went. I plan on filing for D thursday. I wanted my marriage to work so badly but apparently something is not right. What it is for sure I don't know. He can't tell me either. He says he loves me but something is missing. <P>Do you think I'm being to quick to file? I just don't want to make a mistake that I will forever have to live with. <P>I just want my life to be normal again I guess with or without him. I can't live in this craziness anymore. Any suggestions or feedback?<P><BR>Jill

Jill,<P>Are you trying Plan B? My X is now, so he says, <B>totally</B> regretting his actions. But you need to gage the "time thing" for yourself. Just asking the question - are you moving too fast? - may be your answer. Do you want to divorce him? I <B>really</B> didn't want to divorce my X, but I finally needed to put some kind of barrier up to protect myself. Was the divorce really the right thing for me? I don't know - yet. I do know that I couldn't stay in our relationship any longer the way it was. My X & I seem to get along much, much better when he's out of the house.

Rcoaster<P>how long has your XH been in the fog, so to speak? If I remember it was four years?<P>thl

thl,<P>Yep, four years. Did I wait too long? Probably. I did the wait for me, though. I needed to be as sure as I could be that I needed to divorce him.

NO, you waited as long as you could.<P>I dragged her to mediation to protect my interests in seeing the kidos, I just won't file the agreement. She can do that. She is the WS (Wacko Spouse) and wants this.<P>thl