OK, so now I know. Heck, I KNEW.<BR>But I finally found "His Needs, Her Needs." And Dr. Harley's work is logical, sensible, doable, and I'm betting it really DOES work.<BR>I am 43 and recovering from a 19-year marriage (one year divorced now) and *am* looking forward to the future with plans and high expectations and a hope and plans to be in a GOOD relationship and marriage. (My first -- and I thought -- only forever --marriage involved a workaholic who put his job and our son first before "us" and refused to read books like Dr. Harley's *and* fought with our couples therapist over her advice and suggestion to reorder priorities. It is a blessing to be free.) So now *I* know about the keys to a good relationship. But how and where do I find a guy who is *also* clued in to this revolutionary way of relating and living? I think I'm going to be in for a LOT of disappointment, dead ends and hurt. I've already spent almost a lifetime acting as a "teacher" about good relationships for guys who go on to someone else... How do you even BRING UP this new way of living without putting off the other? Ideas? <BR>

Hi vixen,<P>I too, like the book and the principles. I don't bring it up at all, but use many principles in my new relationships. Yes, I have dated a few people since my demise of a marriage. But you know what, this principle does work. And when they say to me, hey how come your so great, why are you so easy to get along with? I say , well I am really into this MB principle and usually they want to read it AND meet and KNOW my needs!<P>OK so whats the problem??? Well, I keep meeting really nice guys who get close and run. <P>OH well, I'm learning along the way, and one day I'll get married again too, BELIEVE that one, because I know it will be better for sure.<P>Good luck, Dana