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Joined: Aug 2000
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Help i need to decided what to do? My divorce is to be final Monday, Sept. 25. H keeps telling me that if I don't drop divorce I'm not really making an effort to work on our marriage, I'll always have an easy way out. My problem is trusting him......... that he'll go to counseling for his depression, our marriage and his drinking. Have been separated for a year and a half and he has promised alot of things over that time and now he gives into almost everything days before. Help?
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 974
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confusedspouse,<P>What is that old saying, "actions speak louder than words"?<P>Has your husband addressed or met any of your concerns in one and one-half years of separation? I always used to wonder myself, "maybe he means it this time". Then once again no action on his part. Your husband is up against a wall and he knows it! Desperate people say desperate things and they know exactly what we want to hear (when it is too late).<P>Take care,<BR>Ragamuffin<P>
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Joined: Aug 2000
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I guess I just want to believe him so much, and think well THIS TIME he means it. In the past he went to one counseling session, when counselor said she needed to see us separately he said ok in front of her. I made my first appointment and he never went. He claims we need help together not separately. I told ok you find counselor that was in June! As for his drinking he says he can control that, he has cut down but not stopped and it does change him.
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 63
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 63 |
I guess I just want to believe him so much, and think well THIS TIME he means it. In the past he went to one counseling session, when counselor said she needed to see us separately he said ok in front of her. I made my first appointment and he never went. He claims we need help together not separately. I told ok you find counselor that was in June! As for his drinking he says he can control that, he has cut down but not stopped and it does change him.
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 818
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You still have how many days left? Give him an ultimatum - Ask him to totally stop drinking, to go to the counseling, etc... Keep the divorce date and just see how things go. Granted it is a short period to really judge his intentions, but it may help you decide if he is really sincere.<P>What about postponing the date?<P>Finally, just because the divorce goes through does not mean your relationship has to end. Marriage is a lot more than a signed piece of paper or a divorce document. Many have gotten "divorced", only to have gotten back together again and remarried.<P>Take it from someone who "has" changed and only wants his wife to believe what she sees - to trust him again. Don't give up on love if there is any hope.
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 63
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Posts: 63 |
Thanks Sotired2000. I hope your wife will soon see the "changed" in you and start trusting in you again. Thats all i want from my h. I did give him an ultimatium. Now he is angry, says i'm the one who wants everything her way. H says all i see is his faults and not mine. I have asked attorney to postpone the divorce but get me temporary orders that were never done in the beginning.<BR>
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