I there I thought I would keep you all posted. My job is going really good. I am very happy there. I am getting more confident everyday. I do talk to my husband on the phone and on the internet. It seems like we are better friends now. He still thinks we have no hope however I don't give up that easily. I hope God can save our marriage. Even if we have to go through a divorce. I will fight to keep our relationship. I know that God believes in marriage. Divorce is only paper work. If we are might to be God will find a way for us. I do have some of Steve's books that are helpful. The last time I spoke to my husband he did say he is talking to someone on the internet. They also call eachother. She lives far away though. What do you feel about this. Some advice please.<BR>Katerina

These internet relationships are very distructive in my opnion. If the marriage is to work husband needs to stop this type of contact.<P>Pray for him to understand what he is doing!<P>I believe in marriage also but when the other person refuses to work on the relationship I don't know what to do! Best wishes!

<B>The last time I spoke to my husband he did say he is talking to someone on the internet. They also call each other. She lives far away though. What do you feel about this. Some advice please.</B><P>You might believe in marriage, but it's quite obvious that your H doesn't. This is NOT the kind of behavior that a husband should display. Period. HurtinginOmaha is right...internet relationships are VERY, VERY destructive to a marriage.<P>I don't mean to dump on your parade, and I DO believe in God and His ability to change our hearts and heal our marriages. And you and he may be better "friends" and more communicative now then when in the marriage, but that doesn't mean he's IN it. He wants his cake and eat it too. That's all there is to it.<P>You need a plan and Dr. Harley's books provide that. Don't just take the "helpful" advice the books offer....DO what the book "Surviving an Affair" says.....Plan A, Plan B....etc. <P>It's not going to be easy...I can promise you it's gonna be really hard. HOWEVER, it's better than you believing that you H is still involved with you in any kind of meaningful way....he's a selfish, self-centered bum, in my opinion.<P>My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. I really do. You want to believe the best about him. You want to believe he can't just "give up" on your marriage. You want to believe that this person you see now is STILL the person you married. He's not. He's allowed all sorts of crap into his life and his mind to be able to have this internet affair. He's changed.<P>It's extremely hard to accept. Yes, he can come to new understandings and change again...and I pray that he will. Right now, he's still in the fog. <P>My best advice is to SEEK GOD for yourself....ask Him to change your heart. You can ask for healing for your husband...I still do. You can ask for healing for your marriage...I still do. God will hear these prayers. But don't forget to ask God for you....to change your heart and show you how to grow in Him.<P>My prayers are with you. Please don't think that it's okay for your husband to carry on an intimate friendship/relationship with anyone else but you, while you're married. It's not.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR>

Have him check out...<A HREF="http://www.wildxangel.com/" TARGET=_blank>What They're Not Telling You - Or How to Read Between the Lies!!</A><P> <P>Jim

Thanks for replying. I really appreciate all the support here. I don't believe he should be on the internet either. When we were together he was constantly on the net. I think the internet has broken our relationship. I still want to work out our marriage though and not a day goes by that I don't pray about it. I will keep you all in my prayers too. <BR>Jim how should I tell him about the advice you gave me. I checked it out that sounds scary.<BR>Katerina

I know this post was meant for another but thanks. I needed to hear this. I'm still not sure about my marriage but this helps. Pray that God will change my hear also.<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mrs.O:<BR><B>The last time I spoke to my husband he did say he is talking to someone on the internet. They also call each other. She lives far away though. What do you feel about this. Some advice please.</B><P>You might believe in marriage, but it's quite obvious that your H doesn't. This is NOT the kind of behavior that a husband should display. Period. HurtinginOmaha is right...internet relationships are VERY, VERY destructive to a marriage.<P>I don't mean to dump on your parade, and I DO believe in God and His ability to change our hearts and heal our marriages. And you and he may be better "friends" and more communicative now then when in the marriage, but that doesn't mean he's IN it. He wants his cake and eat it too. That's all there is to it.<P>You need a plan and Dr. Harley's books provide that. Don't just take the "helpful" advice the books offer....DO what the book "Surviving an Affair" says.....Plan A, Plan B....etc. <P>It's not going to be easy...I can promise you it's gonna be really hard. HOWEVER, it's better than you believing that you H is still involved with you in any kind of meaningful way....he's a selfish, self-centered bum, in my opinion.<P>My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. I really do. You want to believe the best about him. You want to believe he can't just "give up" on your marriage. You want to believe that this person you see now is STILL the person you married. He's not. He's allowed all sorts of crap into his life and his mind to be able to have this internet affair. He's changed.<P>It's extremely hard to accept. Yes, he can come to new understandings and change again...and I pray that he will. Right now, he's still in the fog. <P>My best advice is to SEEK GOD for yourself....ask Him to change your heart. You can ask for healing for your husband...I still do. You can ask for healing for your marriage...I still do. God will hear these prayers. But don't forget to ask God for you....to change your heart and show you how to grow in Him.<P>My prayers are with you. Please don't think that it's okay for your husband to carry on an intimate friendship/relationship with anyone else but you, while you're married. It's not.<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>

poor laddy,<P>i feel awful for you mam....but in reality dump that bum!!! he ain't worth it!<P>so many men out there would so much love to have a committed lady like you it is incredible.<P>if you want results let him go...don't even give him a second thought, because you are right if you are meant to be god will bring you back but no sense wasting your life and energy all on this. the world is a wonderful place and has a place for such a warm caring girl like yourself. try it for just a month or two.<P>thanks for being my friend too.!<P>rick<BR>

Hi Rick it is nice to hear from you. I hope things are going good for you. I will keep you in my prays that God will intervene and save your marriage. Anytime you want advice I will be here for you and your wife. Thanks for writing back. I know that if we are meant to be God will bring us back together. I thought of taking your advice I will think about that. Thanks for the compliment.<BR>Katerina

Hi Marine. I will also keep you in my prayers. If you want to, can you tell me your situation I will try to give you my best advice. God is truly good. He has helped me out a lot. May he give you strengh, confidence and peace. Remember God loves you!

hey there free spirit!<P>thought i would come out and rough ya up a <BR>little but heck i changed my mind !! just<BR>kidding.<P>just looking through this page and thought i<BR>would see how you are doing. i hope you are <BR>doing good.<P>you really are a nice person kat....hope things are going good for you now. <P>gosh darn i was hoping i could say "hey get over it pal" or something ha ha ....<P>have a great day!<BR>

Hi Free Spirit,<BR>I haven't read much of your situation, but I saw enough to know that you and I share some very common thoughts. I love my wife dearly and pray that she will come to her senses one of these days and will change her mind. I may be living in a fantasy, but I firmly beleive that all things happen for a reason and that there is a master plan for all of us. If your husband isn't on board, let him go because there is someone else out there who is better suited for you. If it is meant to be, he will return, if not, there is no point in putting your life on hold for him. Just know that it is out of your control. I have seen the best results so far with my wife when I have just left her alone. If I don't contact her by phone or email, she eventually contacts me. Not that it makes that much of a difference, but everytime I hear from her w/o my prompting, I count it as a point in my favor. It's like a little game I play in my own mind. Whether it's healthy or not, I don't have a clue, but it seems to help. Unfortunatley, my wife still is still winning this game!!!