would like input from others who have been cheated on or even the cheaters. my H and i went to our first therapy session last night and it was mostly about telling both sides of our story. we've been married for 17 years and i never dreamed my H would hurt me this way. i guess H seems to think since the A happened while we were separated and it didn't mean anything to him (because he says to him, he was justing filling a void he felt by not having me there)no emotional feelings for the OW. but the A lasted 4 months before i discovered it. then he begs me to forgive him and swears its over and wants his family back. well we start talking (mostly fighting and still living apart because i wouldn't let him move back yet) and i catch him at the OW's home again. Twice he broke his word. Last night i told him i have a hard time trusting him again and i needed proof that the A was over since we don't live together and i can't exactly go around following him every minute of every day. I asked for copies of his cell phone from the past 4 or 5 months. He was so upset saying i need to get counseling to help me get over it and that i just need to take his word for it that it is over. I was so hurt because he denied me this i told him he must have something to hide and if thats the case we have nothing further to talk about except our sons. At that point i got in my car and left. At 1am the phone rings and he says he can't sleep and he is sorry about waking me up. We start talking about this again and he still stands with i'm the one who has to get over this and if i don't i'm throwing away everything. please note my H has a depression and drinking problem too which he says he is getting help with. i'd like to know if i'm wrong in what i asked of him and is there another way to approach this?