I was checking out a couple of divorce boards that are suppose to give good advice on questions regarding divorce, support, etc.. and was shocked and some of the things I read on the forums. They are a bunch of adults that are fighting with each other so often that sometimes the boards are even sent down for a temporary time. If you have a CP asking about child support you get a NCP calling them awful names about being a blood sucking such and such. At first I was horrified at such evil and hate that went on in these forums and then I was hit with saddness. Such bitterness and hate was causing all of this. I wondered how their children were surviving with parents so bitter and angry? I would guess at some time in their lives they were not filled with such hate and bitterness and I just hope that time heals some of their pain and hatred. It also reminded me so much of my ex who still hates after almost 5 years so much that he takes pride in hurting his kids. After all, the best way to rip at my soul is to hurt his/my kids and that's still his only goal in life. Although, after talking to his family it's more the girlfriend with the ideas and him sharing her brain and going along with it.<P>Oh geez, now I'm getting long. My question, and I don't know if any of you have dealt with it, is how do arrears work and do the laws that they have against non-paying NCP's really work? My ex that doesn't see his kids at his girlfriends request has now quit his job (a few months ago) and is working on his own for cash. He now is making more money then he was at his other job that garnished his wages for support. But, now there is nothing to garnish and he isn't sending in his support. Tough to follow a job that pays you cash. Then he hides his assets and money in his girlfriends name and accounts. The county says that after he's 90 days late they go after his drivers license and if that don't work there could be jail time. Of course, this takes months of not years to happen. BUT, he does start building arrears after being 30 days late. Arrears are 20%. Now my question. If a person is in arrears do they just ask for an additional 20% ea. month until the arrears are pd. up or do they actually ADD 20% owed to the arrears? Did I explain that correctly?

BonnieSept,<P>Ok, first I have no idea about arrears! Sorry:> But I did want to welcome you here and tell you a little of what I have found on this site. I think the name of the site describes it well - marriage builders. This section, while dealing with divorce, is full of caring people who more often than not are trying to save their marriage or at least get through a divorce with as much dignity and maturity as possible.<P>What I haven't found here are people attacking each other and that to me is great (part of the reason I keep coming back). While bitterness can be a factor in any marriage/divorce, the people here try to not let it enter into their posts as much as possible.<P>I think this board is a place of growth and support. So many different views and opinions, so many different stories and situations. But it proves that people do care and there are a lot of people out there that still do believe in the true meaning of marriage.<P>Welcome. I hope you stay around to chat.<P>It is definitely worth it. As for your question, I am sure someone may have an answer for you.<P>God Bless and keep you.

Bonnie,<P>Hello to you. I too have seen those boards, and its a bunch of bitter people, getting no where in life at times. Thank God we have a place like MB that is much better. <P>I believe all arrears are different by state. In my state, arrears are added on to "current" support but the total can not be more than a certain percentage of the non custodial parent's income as to allow them the cost of living and be reasonable. However, in our state if you get behind, you lose your license and other accreditations to work til you pay up and even face jail time.<P>There is a website about this that I think I got from Jim (NSR) one time. I think he has a link that will get you to a page with all the helpful websites we all find, so I'd check with him.<P>If you can't find it, email me and I'll search for it. I had a virus on my PC and lost a lot of my important stuff.<P>Good luck, Dana<BR>