This is my first time to post here. I'm not sure what I am doing, but here goes.<BR>I found out last night that my best friend of twenty years and my husband of 11 1/2 years are seeing each other "innocently" as we plan our divorce. They both say that after we are divorced there's nothing wrong with seeing each other romanticly because our marriage will be over. I still believe that friends expecially best frinds should be off limits. Am I wrong or is this emotional cheating.

My take on this is that she really is not much of a friend! I also believe your husband has just found someone to provide him the support that he needs to continue with the divorce.<P>My friends both male and female (few female)have offered support but none have suggested we get together after the divorce. Of course this is the furthest thing from my mind as I am still hoping to have my marriage with wife salvaged!<P>I would get new best friend! I am so sorry and I will pray for you!

<BR>As far as I was concerned, I would not date any boy that had dated a friend. Even if the split were amicable, it would pull at the heartstrings of my female friend - when I had no plans of marriage, my friendship would always rule out.<P>That rule was modified a bit, during college, when the stakes were higher. I would see one friend date a man, and not be interested in a future, while another friend would be. Different scenario - no problem - feelings wouldn't be hurt.<P>But this case? I can't imagine any friend of mine, pursuing something that would hurt me so much.<P>If this were a situation with my x, and one of my friends - I would no longer consider her my friend, but my x's girlfriend. She made a choice to change her first loyalty - no reason to be angry at her choice, I would be polite to her, as I would any girlfriend my x may date. But sharing any intimate friend moments anymore? Not a chance. <P>

Men have come and gone in my life, but my closest friends have been with me the entire time. I would never choose a man over my friend or family member (ie. my sister) in a dating situation.<P>Let's say your ex and your "friend" do go out romantically. She has basically tossed a 20 yr friendship so she can check out your ex. I'm a little suspicious that perhaps those two were more than "friendly" before the divorce anyway.