Hi All,<P>It's not been a good day for me. In two days I will be living in a different house with the kids. As I have been packing and moving things today the reality of it all hit me. It is over, finished, ended. I know financially I had to move but its so hard to leave this house and all its memories. To make matters worse H is taking over the whole mortgage and is moving in 2 days after we move out. I just wish someone would slap me and wake me up! This has been so crazy it must be a bad dream. It is not so much my H I am mourning for as my safe and secure life. I knew who I was and where I was going before all of this. Now I feel as if I have lost all of my identity and I don't know where in the hell I am in life not to mention where I'm going. I have been somebodys wife for 17 years and I don't know how to stop being that. The thought of living my own life is pretty exciting but it is also scarey and lonely.<P>I really don't have a question I just needed to vent. I better get some more packing done.<P>Jill

MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU JILL,,,TRY AND READ "footprints in the sand" a nice theme there kep the faith<BR>

Oh, Jill,<P>I'm so sorry. What an awful thing to be dealing with. My heart goes out to you, hon.<P>I lived as a single mom for almost 10 years before I married my 2nd (current) hubby. It was challenging, but there were great times, too, and such a feeling of accomplishment. All will be fine, you'll see, even though it may not seem like it right now.<P>Think of finding your identity or the "new" you as an adventure. Try something new every day. Read PMA (positive mental attitude) books. Paint a room complete with stenciled border. Try new recipes. Host a party. Do some volunteer work. There are so many wonderful things in this world just waiting to be found out. Make it a quest!<P>I'll be thinking about you. Keep us posted.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers,<BR>KristyAnn

Jill,<P>I`m so sorry for you.. I know I wold be fallig apart right now.. <P>I don`t know your story, or where you live, but why on earth, if you have children, didn`t a lawyer get you to be able to stay int the house and make him pay.. <P>I got alimony, because I don`t make that much, and he had to allow me 4 yrs to get a decent enough job to get my feet on the ground, and he pays our mortgage until then!!! I live in NY.. and thank god had a good lawyer.. I am happiest for my daughter, or maybe other wise I would have chosen to leave this memory bo.. but they usually do whats best for the kids in any case.. so I find this totally irnoic.. <P>forgive my ignorance if I offended you, or if this sounds crude.. but it gets me so mad that these things are aloud to happen to the woman and children.. <P>I am sorry that you are going through this.. and hope that in a few days when you settle in your new place, it gives you a bit more peace of mind.. and you meet lots of new freinds and a brand new wonderful start in life!!<P>lots of luck Jill.. {{HUGS}}<P>AV

{{{{{Jill}}}}}}...<P>I'm so sorry for you...<P>You will have my prayers... <P> <P>Jim

Hang in there Jill.<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

This is horrible. It is unbelievable. I agree with AV. You should have that house. What an outrage. I also am going to force him to pay the mortgage, alimony and child support for several years (we are going for 7, don't know what I'll end up with). How these courts can let children suffer like that is unthinkable. What are those children to think when their father abandons them, takes their home away, and moves a stranger in! Where is the justice! I am really furious. I wish I could help you, I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry. Unbelievable.<P>------------------<BR><BR>Kathy

In a answer to many of your questions I live in Minnesota and it is a no fault state. It pretty much means you divide everything in half and go your own way. So that is why we are moving. My kids are great and are dealing with pretty good. They are all teenagers and understand why we are moving. <P>Jill

Hey Jill:<P>I am moving tomorrow. I have been packing for two weeks. I couldn't afford the house after the divorce. When I was married, we barely could afford our house, so after the divorce it was impossible to keep.<P>The house I am moving to is very cute and my two girls seem excited about moving but we are also very sad. I don't think my 3 year old really understands what this means but my 6 year old does.<P>It's a very stressful time. Divorce and moving are at the top of the lists of stressors in life. I'm just walking around in a fog today. Tomorrow will be the big test. I just hope I don't break down in cry at the closing.<P>Jennifer

I am so sorry,<P>I can't believe your husband has the gall to move in with his OW.<P>Does he not see, how that is going to affect his kids? They are going to be "visiting" him in the house he basically kicked them out of, to move in that woman. Suddenly their rooms will be guest rooms, or dens or something. What a rotten thing to do.<P>I'm getting angry at them just thinking about it - I will never understand these spouses, who think the world owes them, and that everyone must accomodate their whims.<P>It is a scary feeling to have the future you expected just wiped out. Once the terrible transition time is over, and you get settled into your new routine, I hope it isn't too long before you can view it as a clean slate, rather than an erased one. When I made that mental change, my life started to improve. <P>But he sure isn't making it any easier for you. <BR>

{{{{{{{{{{JILL}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I can only imagine how bad that must feel to know OW will be there. I would be upset too.<P>I miss the security that I felt too. I always worked and paid all the bills mostly anyhow, but that feeling like you don't feel alone and your not so worried about the future.<P>Take some time to think about the positives (I know its hard) but don't get down if you can help it. Stay positive and lean on us here, thats where you'll find the support you need.<P>Hugs and prayers,Dana<BR>