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#670333 09/28/00 07:40 AM
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I am done with trying to make this marriage work! She is the most obstinent, controlling woman I have ever been involved with and if she doesn't get her way it is get rid of them!<P>The kids are suffering and she denies all of it.<P>I am just done, I appreciate all the support and encouragement you all have given and I wish all of you well as you move forward I hope just one marriage/family will be saved by the efforts here!

#670334 09/28/00 09:45 AM
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Omaha,<BR>I hear you and I understand your frustration. Maybe letting go and just starting to move on with your own life is the best thing to do at this point. Don't give up on this page though as it will remain a great place for support and venting. This is going to be a long journey and yours is just begining. There will continue to be good days along with bad, and there will be plenty of mood swings as well. Hang on because the ride is not over my friend.<P>I pray for your kids and hope that the issues with you and your W don't fester into a battle over them. Life is hard enough on kids w/o having to deal with emotional and angry parents. <P>Be strong and hang in there. Start worrying about yourself and do some things that will make you happy, w/o her.

#670335 09/28/00 09:47 AM
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Dear Hurting,<P>I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. Have you been in Plan A or B? Before giving up, have you considered any other options? Maybe taking a few giant steps back and removing yourself from the fray will give you a different perspective. Your W's taker is obviously in overdrive.<P>I'm sorry for the pain your children are going through, as well. Unfortunately, kids are the silent victims in family crises.<P>I know that you are feeling beyond frustrated, but before you act, give yourself some time to cool off. Your decision will affect you and your kids for the rest of your lives, don't make it too suddenly. Besides, if you don't give up, you will always be able to tell yourself and your kids that you did the best that you could. I know it's hard, but in the long run you will know that you did the right thing.<P>Again, I'm sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.<BR><P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers,<BR>KristyAnn

#670336 09/28/00 10:24 AM
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I appreciate the feedback, I just know that the marriage is over and that there is nothing nmore I can do!<P>This is difficult to deal with as I don't get it! But I guess I don't have to get it, I think this is a huge mistake my wife is making! But she has done it two other times so surprize surprize

#670337 09/28/00 10:50 AM
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Sometimes, no matter how much you pray and work, you don't win. That other person also has the right to make choices and sometimes we are hurt badly by their choices. <P>Unfortunately, you are the only one who fully knows your situation. There does come, as my therapist said, a time when the only thing you can do is to fold your cards and walk away. It hurts badly to do it. That's what I faced. <P>I know it's hard. Remember, we are here for you.<BR>

#670338 09/28/00 11:47 AM
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Hurting:<P>I too understand where you are coming from. I got to the point where I knew it was hopeless. I was so angry and upset because I was completely powerless in this situation. No matter what I did, he would not change his mind.<P>I wish you luck in the future and agree that you should stay here for support while you take the next step.<P>Take care.<P>Jennifer

#670339 09/28/00 01:38 PM
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I am not a very religious person, but I do have my own spirituality. <P>A very close friend of mine recently told me that God has a plan for all of us and that he is working on mine right now. I don’t know if this is true or not, but I believe it. <P>J.<BR>

#670340 09/29/00 09:16 AM
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Thanks again, I am not sure I will fold my cards but maybe play them differently!<P>I do in my heart feel that GOD wants us to gether with the kids. So I will continue to hope for this yet plan for divorce. Sounds wierd but that is the track I will take!

#670341 09/29/00 11:07 AM
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I heard a man by the name of Joe Beam speak one time. He has worked, if my memory is correct, to set up "His Needs/Her Needs" classes around the country. Beam's philosophy is that the only irretrievably broken marriage is one where one of the partners subsequently marries another person. Perhaps that's food for thought. <P>I guess that is one of the things distressing me about x's remarriage this weekend. I've been praying for healing for him but I haven't seen it. He's only turned farther away from me. And all hope is dead.<P><BR>BUT------Life goes on. And this is a good thing.<BR>

#670342 09/29/00 05:38 PM
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Dear HIO,<P>I'm glad to hear a tone of hope left in your last post. Be assured that God <B>does</B> want you and your W together with your children. There is no doubt of that. Keep praying and trust in Him. She still has a free choice, but you will know that you are on the right path if you stick with HIM. With God, all things are possible.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers,<BR>KristyAnn


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