boy it feels good to feel good about ones self again!<P>i went through a nightmare, my ex wife starting acting really funny about six months before we actually split up,seeming very angry, hurtful, blaming etc....all along i thought things were ok we were in the process of building an elaborate home and disucussing having another child.<P>i tried in my own heart to make things better, i would buy her things jewelery, gifts, special foods, try to talk to her and she always seemed tohave a way to blame me for her unhappiness. i did not know waht was happening to my marriage.<P>months passed and all of the sudden she asked me for a seperation i was thinking she was just angry and the next day everyting would be o.k well it wasn't. she proceeded to puprchase another home, and carry on an affair with a coworker all along projecting horrible things on me treating me mean, accusing me of having an affair on her, telling me what a horrible husband i was to her, etc etc etc.<BR>the court ordered me out of my home, made me pay her support, supply her with a car, limited my access to the children, pay the mortgage on the house while she lived there rent free having a gay old time.<P>when we would talk she would talk about how much of an ******* i was all along and what a terrilbe excuse for a partner i was and really destroyed me mentally, i would ask her if i could come over for coffee and she would say yes and then change her mind. i could not get her to go out with me on saturday nights obviously she had other plans, could not get her to stop divorce proceedings even though i still ventured on and continued to buyher things and ask for time with her. i was a litteral mess no self esteem, depressed, suicidal, unable to function at work, and still she continued to blame me and reject me at every turn.<P>i met someone whom i was able to express some of my feelings with and we started to date, all along i kept trying to keep a lifeline to the ex hoping she would change her mind. <P>but i really started to change my feelings, suddenly i started to think that hey maybe i am not all that bad, i mean look at thisother person they think i am good, and slowly my recovery began.<P>at this time my daughter starting telling me of some man that was in moms bed and mom would tell her that she could not sleep in there with her, that she needed to go to bed and my ex just kept treating me like ****!<P>i started to realize that i was not the problem and believed and realized the truth that i am a good husband whom was commited to her,affectionate, a good provider fun to be with, full of life, a husband who loved her, a great father whos child adores them emensly, and all the while someone really liked me.<P>i continued to date this person and we got involved in a relationship, the new or i should say the old me the real me was back.<P>i felt great, and started to accept the ex's position but no longer would take the blame and the guilt for i knew i was good. i even started believing that hey it is definatlely her loss because i am a good catch. what a feeling!!!!!<P>i was feeling awesome. all along still having feelings for my family of course and my ex wife.<P>i just quit asking her out asking her for her time and got on with my life started to worry about me! what a turnaround for me, i smelled the flowers a gain , suddenly i accepted it the way it was, and got on, and even though i still loved her, i had to take care of me now. i got up!<P>today i feel great about myself even though someone tried to destroy me through projection and lies and it almost did!<P>so to anyone who is going through what i did remember there will come a day!!!!<P>the sun will shine again!<BR>and you will better for the experience!<P>love to all !<BR>

Amen!<P>It is wonderful to have a new day, literally and figuratively, with which you can make a clean start.<P>I am thankful for the healing you have found and I hope God sends you even more.

wow<BR>this letter is so full of energy and positiveness. At times it reads as though your angry but it is good to see that your moving on. Looking ahead is my moto. No time for anger and bitterness once it is all released your a lighter person.<P>In a previous post you said you two were spending time together. So, i take it this other woman makes you feel fulfilled again. It sounds like your ex was brutal. I guess your day in court was nasty. But looking ahead you see things in a different light? Good for you. <BR>As for the question you asked of me. I guess you would say we're dating. We spend time together but never nights, i know that sounds strange but we both felt the sex would get in the way. After awhile you expect it and this time around we wanted to know we were about more than sex.