Our date has passed and i am wondering how the finalization works? The settlement is all done and we've LIVED apart for over a year. Now what?

It all depends on what state you live in. I happen to live in Oregon. We went to court on May 8 and it was signed by the judge on June 30. We have been divorced for 3 crazy months. Kelly

hi looking ahead,<P>i think it can take up to 3 months depending upon where you live lord knows there probably are back logs for divorce court!<P>to anwser your question about the friend that i had , i was also involved in therapy as well to bring back my self esteem.<P>i was involved with a person whom is a master of deception, and a projector, she guilted me badly, and decieved me uncontrolably it seemed i feel sorry for her though cause she is th e one who has to live with herself , after all she threw it all away , and i can sit here today after all my therapies and so on and feel great about myself.<P>i truly know in my heart that i was good, a good husband great friend, good provider, great father, and i sleep easy. for i did what was right to honor my marriage vows.<BR>yes it also helped me when someone expressed an enormous interest in me.<P>how about you, are you guys reconciling.?<P>we have been spending time together but i do have to tell you it is rough.<P>i don't know if i will ever feel as good about her as i should.you can forgive but you can never forget. <P>at times i find myself being not so nice to her, i wonder if that is the anger? but i can't help it.<P>and then she comes on here and lies. it is just a joke when i read her responses .<P>oh well<P>life goes on ............<P>take her day by day !!!!!<P>i hope things are going ok for you, and you are looking forward!<BR>the real rtn<BR>rick

Looking ahead,<P>Hi, I like your name! I don't recall seeing your name as of yet, so welcome and hello.<P>It does vary according to every state. I think you can try <A HREF="http://www.divorce.com" TARGET=_blank>www.divorce.com</A> for a link to your state for more specific laws. I know , to call the lawyer at $160 an hour should be a last option right?? <P>To answer your question though, yes I'm divorced now. I'm having a hard time keeping track now myself, but I think a lot of us are now divorced or weeks away.<P>Not to invade your post but to Rick, I am confused, are you just rtn and is rtn2 someone else, I have been off board for a few days and I can't quite tell whats up??<P>Prayers and hugs, Dana<P><BR>

In the state I live in, you only have to file a complaint and then 45 days later you're divorced. If you have kids, you each have to go to a "Children of Divorce" class that costs $30 each (complete waste of time - it just advocates divorce). We had been separated 4 months when I filed and by the time it was final it had been 9 months. It only took so long because ex owed the lawyer $200. Once he paid up, it was a matter of days. I live in Georgia.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

I've been divorced officially for more than 18 months. It was a very disjointed and surreal experience. I was just glad to have it over with since I, obviously, was not going to get my husband back.

My ex tells me that we just sign a document that states we agree to reside apart and both signatures is a acknowledgement that we agree.<BR>This really is a werid circumstance i find myself in. Spending time with him is so nice but we both want the finalization. To be honest we worked out better just living together. After the ceremony things just seemed to of fallen apart. We talk about living together again. But we did agree not to see other people and if we felt we were interested in someone else then we spoke up. For instance my ex has really liked this woman and she's now single. So he told me of his desire and we talked about it. Even though i was very hurt, i told him "if that is what you feel is right" He talked to her and found out it was only his anger towards me that fueled him but in all reality he loves me so he broke their date and surprised me with the news and flowers. Needless to say it was very romantic. Quite honestly it felt wonderful that he recognized his love was more important than getting back at me.<P>We've grown in so many ways. I actually find him sexier today than when we first met.<P>Thanks for the responses.

In the state of NJ it could take anywhere from a year to two years. Nothing is easy in this state. I filed for divorce in March and we are still in Discovery (the financial records.) If you file for a no-fault divorce you have to be physically separated for a minimum of 18 months. I don't see how anyone could go through this process more than once. It has been mentally and physcially draining in every way. The estimated date for finalization for my divorce is the end of November...of course this contingent on everything being turned in on time. <P>

He moved out January 3, 1999 and I filed May 12. A court date of February something 2000 was set. We didn't come to agreement, so they dismissed my petition in May 2000. He filed a new petition, gave me everything I wanted (geeze, why couldn't he have done that to begin with?) on May 8th. It could have been final July 8th, but they couldn't get it on the docket until August 1st. He had to go to court; I didn't have to go so I didn't. He said it was all done in less than 10 minutes. I know he paid his lawyer $1500 to start; I paid mine $2500 and I'm paying off another $1300 more. Crazy, huh! But, I've got 35 pieces of paper, my house and no bills to show for it.

Welcome Looking Ahead,<P>My D was final in February... it took a while to get the details worked out and all, (we were seperated for 7 months), but once the papers were signed by both of us, it took less than 24 hours. My lawyer took them to the judge the day after she got them from my X's lawyer, and they were signed within 10 minutes.<P>So, I guess if you want a quicky divorce, just come to NM. <P>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Still waiting. Not sure what the problem is. I have been told for months and months that I should hear something "any day". My friend just filed last week and already has a date that is 3 weeks from now. I think my attorney is really off the ball.<P>

My divorce was final in May. It was very quick. He wanted out in Feb. to pursue a young thing in the office. I tried to stop him but gave up after a month. My story has been told so many times here I won't bore you with the details.<P>Now, he is driving me crazy. But, I will post separately regarding that.<P>

...how appropriate...<BR>...just settled today...<P>Mine will be final in 14-21 days... <P>Jim

Sorry Jim.<P>I'll be thinking about you.<P>Jennifer