Honey.West,<P>I'm sorry that I haven't been following your story from the beginning, but I just read in another thread where your H was involved with a 20 year old??? Was he nuts? I'm sure you will say that he was, but c'mon fella. <P>Maybe I need to have a talk with this guy and explain to him what's he's missing by leaving the 40+ women behind. <P>One day he will learn. Poor naive man!<P>------------------<BR>JH93

giggle giggle tee hee. Oh flattery works with me. <P>Yes Jayhawk, now I can joke about it (ok, not really) but basically it boiled down to I turned 40, and my husband had a MLC. She had just turned 19 when she started to watch our children. I heard from my attorney that this is pretty common. That is something the agencies don't advertise.<P>Everybody was shocked - his friends were embarrassed for him, they actually are my friends now - he cut himself off from them too. It affected his career. Certainly his financial future.<P>I know he regrets getting caught - he never wanted a divorce, just a little vacation from the marriage. <P>But at least I figured out what I did to contribute to the environment that led him to want the vacation, and won't ever let it happen again. <P>Thanks for the 40+ woman support - it really is an ego blow to have a man choose someone who has nothing but youth in her favor - I honestly couldn't even have a conversation with her, she was so unispired, uneducated and mediocre. It takes awhile to get back the confidence in yourself as a woman.

I could understand the physical attraction to a 20 year old woman, especially if you are a man in the middle of a MLC. However, I would assume that this one was nothing more than ‘eye candy’ and I don’t see how he could possibly have been interested in anything more that just getting a young piece of a_ _! And going after the babysitter, how cliché is that?<P>The emergence of an affair in a marriage is usually the ‘effect’ of bigger problems in the marriage and rarely the cause of such problems. I am glad to see that you have figured out what went wrong in your marriage that in turn, caused this ‘vacation’ for your husband. I don’t know how things were with you, but getting attention from someone new can be a very eye opening and sometimes exciting experience. At least that’s how I’m feeling right now with the women I am meeting. I am experiencing some sparks that I haven’t felt for awhile. I know these won’t last forever, but getting out and just flirting seems to be a new hobby for me!<P>If I ever go through a MLC myself, I can’t imagine going after a woman that young. It would be almost impossible for the maturity to be there and having a relationship based on only sex would just old after awhile, no matter how appealing that eye candy may be.<P><BR>------------------<BR>JH93<p>[This message has been edited by Jayhawk 93 (edited October 04, 2000).]