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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 255
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 255 |
This weekend I had planned to watch football game at friends house without the kids. Then I was going to a 40th birthday party for the wife of a good friend of mine ( Saturday Night ).<P>Then Sunday morning I was going to play golf. This will be the first weekend since this all started happening that I am not making plans that include the kids.<P>I have thought that it was about time my wife did her parenting responcibilty. I don't intend to hurt the kids yet it feels so wierd not to include them in what I do!<P>How do you all deal with this?<p>[This message has been edited by hurtinginOmaha (edited October 04, 2000).]
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 159
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Joined: Jan 2000
Posts: 159 |
Hey Omaha,<BR>Try not to feel guilty because you plan something for yourself. It's something that you need, if you don't get a break once in awhile yourself you'll go crazy. Unfortunately with my time sharing, I have to much time by myself and I don't like it but I have no choice. If you decide to go for custody like you were saying, it may be far and between when you have time for yourself, so take it now and enjoy it, your kids will appreciate a parent whose relaxed and a pleasure to be around rather than a stressed out dad. So take the time, unwind, relax, then tackle the parenting chore again, you're not a selfish father for that. Take care. Jax
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,213
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,213 |
Omaha,<P>I struggled with this for a while too. I was spending so much time for 11 years home with the kids, except for work, I never did anything outside of my family obligations.<P>I felt extremely guilty too. Especially since now I was their sole provider.<P>What it really took was me getting out there and NOT thinking about it. You will notice when you spend time with your friends, and become YOU again, not just DAD and HUSBAND (or ex in our case), you realize that you had a life before this marriage and you'll have one after it.<P>You are actually better for your kids if you get out and have some time for you. You will start to see this after you go out a few times for YOU that you will be in much better spirits when you return to them.<P>Take time for you because you need it!<P>Dana<BR>
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150
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Joined: May 2000
Posts: 15,150 |
I feel like a much better mother when I do things for myself. You need to do some of this. I love to squeeze in all I can when the children aren't at home. Look, you need your children and you need your friends. Enjoy it! But remember it is ok to miss the children. And in not too many years they'll be grown. And then you'll really need a new life which you will have to build from scratch if you don't maintain it between now and then.
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