I've been seperated from my wife for three years now, and in that time she has been living with another gentleman. On a number of occasions she has told me that she still loves me, but the man she is with makes her happy, and until I can prove to her that I've changed, nothing will ever occure between us. <br>I've now made those changes in my life, however, she is now planning to marry this man, although she still admits that she doesn't love him.<p>I've been trying to get her to go to some couciling session with me, but she refuses to go. We have a 5 year old son together, and I believe that he would be happier with us together than apart. Does anyone have any sugestions?

Hunterwolf,<p>Well this is a tough one. I can sure see why its hard to know for sure what to do, especially when your wife says she still loves you and you still have feelings forher.It may be time to really prepare yourself to let go. I'm not one to give up on a marriage to easily, but at some point you need to move forward with your life. <p>Its good to hold on to hope in a marriage as long as you feel you can, but if she gets married to this other gentleman, then I guess that means its time to really let go and move on. It she doent get married and still stays with this other person, than only you can really determine in your heart if you want to let go or not.My bottom line advice to you would be to prepare your self to let go, this may be what best for you and your son, also Trust in your Heavenly Father for the best direction in your life,he knows the way for sure!!!!......<p><p>[This message has been edited by violet1 (edited 12-05-98).]

I would hope that you have a divorce before she marries this man!! Even in the South (as Bruce put it in another post) that is illegal!<p>Seriously, if she does not love this man and says she loves you but is still insistent on marrying him, then I would say that she has a lot of emotional baggage to carry around with her. I would think that she would have realized by now how hard marriage can be when all of the necessary parts are not there.<p>Possibly she is not being entirely honest with you about her feelings - some protective lying to save you pain?<p>Just some musings.......good luck.<p>Maria

Well, I thank you for your postings...I deep down know that I should let go, but I am the first divorce in the history of my family, and personally have strong beliefs in what a family is. <p>As well, if my divorce was based on infidelity then letting go is easy. But mine ended when I lost touch with God, and in turn lost touch with me, and became a jerk. And neglected my wife and my marriage. Never my son tho.<p>Again thanks for the responses.