Jim,<P>Darn that missing tear icon!!!!!!<P>You have come to be such an integral part of the Boards here. Your wisdom, love support and many hours of research have helped so many (myself included).<P>You truely are a Man of God. Your faith and commitment to your beliefs are an inspiration. <P>I know that you will be blessed - you already have with your wonderful children.<P>My prayers for you are for continued strength and forebearance. I pray that you can look to the future with hope and find joy in the everyday things that surround you.<P>I pray for your children that they will learn from your example that faith and commitment are not just for the "good" or "easy" times but bring us the strength and help we need in the "bad" or "hard" times.<P>God Bless you Jim.<P>Don't be too much of a stranger.<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole <p>[This message has been edited by Patient Love (edited October 10, 2000).]

Jim...<P>You gave us all such a vision on how you tried from the beginning, from the bottom of your heart...all the time coaching, caring, nurturing and giving us all the faith to keep our hopes high and challenged us to really understand the principles of MB and the Harley's...all the time reminding us to keep our ultimate faith as we traveled our individuals paths. And I can, as many have said before me...feel your pain...and for that I'm so very sorry for what is about to become of your marriage. You are a great man...and I feel like I've learned so much from your posts and ask myself how I could ever think to "Give Back" and feel at least at par with what I've taken from you. We all seem to feel a sense of gratitude but also that we all do owe you in a way that we all find it hard to understand how we can repay!<P>A couple of thought from various authors I've read that may help you on you way...<P>Trust Even The Dark Moments...<P>Trust even the bleak times.<BR>When you reach the end of<BR>the tunnel, then you will<BR>know why this all had to be.<P>Forgiveness Will Complete the Process<P>Sometimes forgiveness surprises us because it's the last thing we thought we would need to feel whole again. Forgiveness is often the completion of the process. It helps us feel that breath of fresh air that makes us take the first step to heal, grow and move on with growing our lives.<P>So, take care of yourself...self care is important for you (and those beautiful children) that need you more than you ever realize.<P>Making a better Jim...I'm not sure if that can be done...we all have seen over the months someone who is already pretty hard to beat!<P>May God Bless You and Your Children. Thank you for all that you've given me through your thoughts, insight and caring on this site.<P>mrrlk<P>

{{{Jim}}}:<P>I am so sorry things are going this way. Remember: <B>YOU</B> will survive.<P>I remember a story I read a long time ago of a child living in London in WWII. She and her family were trapped during the bombings and she started to pray. Her big brother was mad a scared and asked why she bothered when the bombs were going to come anyway. She said, <P><B>"God may not take away the bombs, but He does take away the 'fraidness."</B><P>All the best to you, Jim. --HBC

I am terribly sorry. We just signed the papers last week, and there is no way to prepare for this.

Jim,<P>I know this is not what you hoped and prayed for. I was hoping you would be one of the lucky ones to make it to recovery. I am only a few days into the "literal" divorce (received my papers last Saturday) and I still don't know what to think.<P>I do believe that you are a Better Jim already and you will go on to a much better life one day. You can't possibly imagine it now, but I know you have faith and that there is a plan for us all.<P>This will all make sense one day. I will be saying extra prayers with you in them today.<P>Dana<P>PS I know right now you are feeling numb and probably in shock. I was in shock when I read your reply, I just read the other one yesterday. Take time to do your own thing and what makes you happy, but I really hope you don't plan on leaving us when this is over. You have been an inspiration to us all.<BR>

Jim,<P>So sorry you had to finally reach this point. But you did go the whole way trying to save your marriage.<P>Now take that fighting spirit and apply it to your new life and what ever that entails and you will be a success in no matter what you try.<P>Remember that metal is hardened for use by fire. The divorce may be that fire in your life too. I realized that not to long ago and just witnessed that to my Sunday school class. <P>I have always been a believer, but I used the Lord as a spare tire, pulling him out when there was an emergency. Now I am trying to use him as the steering wheel to guide my life.<P>Take care and God Bless,<P>Bob

Jim,<BR>I'm so sorry. God does have plans for you and your children, and I believe there is joy ahead for you.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

Jim,<BR>My wish for you is that your life is blessed from now on with only positive experiences and that knowing a little about you, you will make a very meaningful and rewarding life not only for yourself, but your children as well.<P>How trite, but may this be the beginning of a new time for you.<BR>Hugs

You know I read this post and was of very mixed emotions. I have been reading here for over a year and a half and posting for over a year. You have been one of the pillars of this site.<P>I am very sorry that your marriage is coming to an end. However, I would be lying if I said I was really sad. Your marriage may have failed, but you most certainly did not fail. <P>I see you finally getting to a point in your life where you are rewarded for all of your efforts. Not in the way you prayed for, nor the way you worked for, but actually something better.<P>Jim, I know the next weeks will be very sad for you, but I suspect that your efforts in changing yourself, your awareness, and your obvious love of your stepson, and the others around you, including here, will be rewarded.<P>You have done yourself proud. Don't ever forget that. When you are down, just remember you have much to be proud of, and many who are proud of you. Count me as one of those.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Jim,<P>Dear friend to all on the MB Forum - I feel your pain. I am so very sorry that your marriage will not be restored. I do pray daily for each and every person here - those I "know" and those I don't "know" - that their marriages will be restored. I also pray for the individuals - they each of us will be restored as self-confident, capable and loving people.<P>Try to remeber that although you are losing something precious and dear to you - your W and your concept of an intact family, there are many, many blessings that you do have. You have the daily blessings of your children and your family is still intact, albeit in a different way. And rememebr that while you have "lost" some things that have been very dear to you, you have gained some things that are by now equally dear to you. You have made some true friends here at marriage builders. You have learned a great deal about relationships - how they work and what skill sets are necessary to be in a successful relationship. You have learned how to cope, survive and even thrive under the most tenuous of circumstances. In the midst of all of this, you have found the time to become the beacon of hope to all the newbies on MB, as well as keeping the hope going in many of us "oldtimers". <P>You know, Jim, from my perspective, through all of this you are a true "winner". Your perseverence and deep moral stance are truly worth looking at yourself in the mirror and feeling truly "victorious" about your situation. You have so much to offer another, and if you choose to find another mate, I know that God will surely bring to you a woman who deserves a man as fine as you are.<P>God bless, Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Jim,<P>I'm very sorry. You really tried harder than anyone to stop this. I haven't had time to read all the other responses here and will try later. It's strange how we all seem to be coming down to the wire at the same time (my turn in about a month). I wish you the best and hope you stick around because your help to others has been invaluable.<P>God bless you.<BR><P>------------------<BR><BR>Kathy

Jim,<P>You've got it all wrong it has been me who have been honored to talk to you and hopefully give you some hope when you needed it, since you always were there for everybody, myself included back when I needed it most.<P>As others have said you have become a pillar of the MB site and IMHO have far greater influence than you might realize, making this place a gentle and caring site and a place where people in desperate need can find help and compassion, of which you have contributed plenty.<P>I am truly sorry that your marriage, for which you have fought a long and valiant battle to rescue, will be over soon unless<BR>a last minute miracle happens. And I'm sure that the next couple of weeks, maybe even months will no doubt be hard to live through.<BR>But I know that you will, and you will do it with the knowledge that while your marriage might have failed, you did NOT fail, you faced up to the challenge and proved to yourself, your kids and everyone here that you didn't succumb to hardship and fought for the sacredness of a marriage in a clean and gentle way.<P>However, life goes on as it must, sometimes not the direction that you want it to. And I am sure that you once again will find happiness, maybe not tomorrow or next month,<BR>but I am convinced that it will happen, you have so much good in you and the ability to share it with the rest of the world, that I have no doubt that happiness will catch up with you sooner or later.<P>My thoughts and prayers go to you and your family, and I truly hope that the future is bright for all of you.<P>-- SadMan, who is sometimes still lurking<BR>around here.

Many thanks and prayers go with you, Jim. You have made MB forums THE PLACE TO BE for all of us. I know you have made the world a better place through your calling/addiction/committment? to this process.<P>I think about you each and every day, and all the other members of MB. My own personal and professional work has been tremenously blessed through this, and especially your contributions.<P>Divorce is just a word. Your status before the State has nothing to do with your status before God. I pray that you will feel whole and healed after the final papers are filed. <P>Bad people who are willing to hurt the innocent have tremendous power because they do not overly concern themselves with consequences born only by others. Forgive her her smallness and weakness. Please continue to not give her any power over your emotional condition.<P>Keep the Faith, Jim!!!<P>------------------<BR>A true friend is one who not only is willing to love us the way we are, but is able to leave us better than he found us.

Hey Jim,<P>Sorry to hear of the update. You have tried your very best to reconsile the M. You have not failed, she has.<P>I tried my best as well and can leave the M without regret of trying to save it. I can sleep well at night with a clear conscience, I don't believe she ever will.<P>Val called me last week fishing for something, I'm not sure what she wanted exactly. Asked why I have not been calling her lately. Told her that there is this little thing called a D and a BF getting in the way.<P>I reiterate what all of our friends have said. You are the MAN!<P>Take care of Jim and the Kids.<P>Tim <P>

Jim<P>Sorry also to hear of the news, but as a friend of mine said, "Congratulations!"<P>It is the beginning of a new life, and most probably a better life, just not the one you had originally envisioned, but then again, we are all on a journey here, and we don't know where it will lead, or how it will end, but you have done your best, the most God or anyone else can ask of each of us.<P>good luck on your new life, you are well prepared.<P>thl

Dear Jim,<P>I have thought of you so often, while I have been 'away'.....<P>I'm so sorry to hear of this.<P>My thoughts and prayers are with you now. You have so much faith, now you must call on that more than ever.<P>Never ever think that there was more that you could have done. You did all you could.<BR>Sometimes we must just let go, even though it seems wrong and the reasons aren't clear.<BR>They will be one day.<P>my love and hugs to you, I'm thinking of you<P>Jo

Jim - are you really doing ok? Don't forget to keep praying for peace - in whatever form it comes. You can even pray for miracles. Also, don't forget to take care of yourself. You've been such a blessing to so many of us here and we're all sorry to hear the news.