This is embarassing, but I'm hoping to gain some insight here.....As I have a call into my Dr (& hopefully will get an appt today). When everything came to light last fall and I found that my H had unprotected sex, I got tested for STD, I did have an infection (STD Type) and we were both treated for it, but he never actually went for testing, just got his Dr. to give him an Rx.<BR>My Gyn, told me to watch for signs of Herpes and HPV as they can only be easily diagnosed during an outbreak. Any way, I think (or maybe due to the warning I'm hypocondriacting?)I may have HPV.......I won't of course know until I see the Dr.<P>Anyway, I'm afraid of how I'll react if I'm ACTUALLY Diagnosed with HPV. I mean, I already know he had unprotect sex, so ......<P>I really don't know what I'm asking here. But hoped that maybe someone out there could calm me down, and help me not do something crazzy if the news is "bad". I'm afraid, I'll throw his butt out of here! But then I think, am kind of closing the barn door after the horse got out......<P>Just rambling....Thanks!

Your Dr. is WRONG. HPV can NOT only be detected during an outbreak. HPV is human papilloma virus, a.k.a. genital warts. Women can be infected without symptoms. There is a test for HPV that can be done at the same time as your Pap test. If your Dr. is not doing this, and is telling you he/she can't give you a diagnosis until you have an outbreak, find another doctor. This is not some arcane information, this is fairly common knowledge.<P>It's important that you know whether you are infected with HPV, because it puts you at higher risk for cervical cancer, and you will probably want to get Paps every six months instead of annually, if such is the case.<P>I do know how you feel, though. In February my Dr's office sent me a note that my Pap was abnormal and they wanted to do another one. The office refused to tell me what the abnormality was. I was going through the "Is he having an affair" thing, and I freaked out. Two days later the Dr. called and told me that there was no HPV. She does the HPV screening as a matter of routine.

I was diagnosed with HPV post-affair. HPV is very common, I think the info my DR showed me stated that 80% of people who have been sexually active with more than 1 partner have it. It can also lay dormant for years so many of those people have no idea.<P>I do blame the OW. When my H told her, she said, "It's very common". A calm response which leads me to believe it was not a surprise to her. I look at this this way. He had an affair. He had unprotected sex. He was not thinking about me or my health. (And she's a health care nurse, which he seems to think outweighs her promiscuity.) These things cannot be changed. He feels bad about it now. I still want him as my husband. I lump the HPV in with the rest of the wretched things he has done and will go about forgiving him. For me, not for him. I will not be eaten up with anger, hate and resentment. I need to take care of me. I'm on a every 6 month Pap & will be having my 3rd STD screen next week (he's been involved with her sporadically for 1 1/2 years).<P>Hope this helps a little. It's all cruddy, but you've still got a life to lead and it is imperitive you go on to live it as best you can.

OnceHappy-<BR>I understand your frustration. I actually thought I would "kill" him if he had given me some deadly STD. That was my raw emotions talking and trying to deal w/everything. BUT, I agree w/Lor and had to put all the "affair-related" things into one category and just decide to digest it as part of having an affair. (the lies, sex, unprotected sex, risk of disease, gifts, hotels, late hours, etc.) The marital "issues" still have to be dealt with but with these "affair-specific" issues, you almost have to just make a choice to digest it or let them digest you. It may be tough to see the difference right now, but there is one, at least in my mind.<P>Good Luck and God Bless.

I certainly understand your anger! Mine gave me herpes..and some strange venerial disease that no one could culture because my husband had treated me with 5 different antibiotics...it was hideous I couldn't pee for a month without viscous xylocaine! Yep a doctor doing unprotected sex..hmmmm well at least the chlamydia and AIDS came back normal...and I can pee again!!!!

Thats it, we are all married to the same person, my h refuses to use protection with anyone. The last ow was an iV drug user for crying out loud, So far everything has come back normal, but it still scares me and makes me angry, it's like they forget that std's and or pregnancy are both possible when you have sex with someone. Don't they even care about the danger they are putting us in ? AAARRRRGGGHHH<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

I don't have an appointment until TUESDAY, it's going to be a long weekend.<P>I'll definately ask about the test for HPV, my doctor never mentioned it before, but recently I did read something in a magazine about it.<P>I honestly don't know how I feel about this. I guess maybe I haven't yet gotten over the fact that he'd put me a risk for something like this. And I know it bothers me that he'd sleep with anyone else, but to do so unprotected is beyond my comprohension....I mean why not just throw me out in front of a bus??<P>Anyway, I'll deal with it on TUESDAY.<P>Thanks everyone........you are all so willing to help! Chin up, right?!?

It's called NARCISSISM, folks. It's called SELFISHNESS. They're not thinking about repercussions, about your feelings, or about anything else. They're thinking "I WANT I WANT I WANT." It's that simple.<P>