My wife and I have been married for about 11 months. She has a daughter almost 4. She didn't marry the father of her daughter. The first year has been very rough! We've been going to counseling, only went 2 times and things were looking up. We had a blow out argument with her demanding me to leave the house, that was 3 weeks ago and she won't even contimplate continuing counseling. She want's a divorce and even wants me to come over tonight and discuss the filing of the papers, etc... I don't want this whatsoever, I feel the marriage can be saved. I have known her and B(daughter) for almost 3 years, so her child is like my own, except I don't get any recognition for this. She even calls me "daddy". This is the toughest thing, I don't want to lose this angel and her mother. Any suggestions, desperate but still hoping

Dear Baffled,<P>First of all, you need to buy yourself some time. Find whatever excuses you can to <B>nicely</B> decline being able to get together to discuss a divorce -- you have to work, you're tending to a sick friend, you have a business meeting, whatever.<P>Next, you need to spend as much time as you can doing your "homework". Reading here at the site -- articles, letters, posts, FAQ's, etc. Learn all you can about Plan A and start implementing it as soon as possible.<P>Examine how things were going before this big blow-up. Usually one bad fight doesn't push someone to want to bail out unless things have been going badly for a while. If you can identify ways that you have been "Lovebusting" -- stop it now. <P>You <B>can</B> do things to save your marriage, but it takes a lot of commitment and a willingness to sacrifice your own happiness for a while during rebuilding.<P>Keep coming here, there's lots of great support and advice to be found. If you feel frustrated or angry about your situation, come here and let it out. Avoid dumping on her.<P>Best of luck to you. We'll be here for you.<P><P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers,<BR>KristyAnn<P>If I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 1CO 13:2

In reference to my previous post, I didn't go last night and now I just got served the papers at work. Help! What do I do now?

So sad for you. Unfortunately now things get even more difficult. You need to protect yourself, so you need to consult with an attorney. But make it clear to the lawyer that you do not want this divorce.<P>Find ways to stall, if you can. Don't succomb to anger. If you are hurt (which I know you are), don't let it come out as anger - that will only drive her further away.<P>Finally, or rather most importantly, ask God for His help and guidance - And even more importantly follow it.<P>So sorry to hear the news.<BR>I'll say a prayer for you tonight.

THanks for all the great replies, there all greatly appreciated. I've not had any contact since the papers were served on me last Wednesday. I was wanting to get some opinions on this, whether I should try to contact her. I've hired a good attorney who has handled many of these. He said this would be a piece of cake to get everything finalized. She basically waived all of her rights to my assets by using a form book to handle the filing. SHe claimed that there was no personal property to divide up. So it should be easy with my attorney doing the work. Secondly, I've heard through the rumor mill that she is starting to see somebody else. I guess she's already moved on, wow that didn't take long. I really don't think she was having an affair, because that was never indicated. It was just personality conflicts and her raging temper. I really think at this point I should give up, and move on as well. I just miss my stepdaughter so much, it's hurting me. I've know her since she was 1 and I'm really finding that the toughest of all. Is this normal, I'm angry at Mom and depressed as hell over my little angel. Thanks for the replies. God Bless!