Just found this on the web, some of you may have seen it, but I found it informative.<P>Here's a quote "He or she may have decided already that the relationship is over. It has been my observation that the way the committed partner responds at that vital juncture will determine whether the marriage will survive or succumb."<BR> <A HREF="http://www.family.org/docstudy/newsletters/a0011702.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.family.org/docstudy/newsletters/a0011702.html</A> <P>------------------<BR>I am in this situation for a very good reason, it just took time to get over my own self-pity and understand why.

Still Praying,<P>I read the book months ago. It takes a religious approach to our situations and I definitely think it was worth the money and time to read.

A very intersting article, and timely for me. I just sent my wife this note:<P>I hope you don't mind an e-mail. I was just thinking about you and wondering how your day was going. I'm still getting used to things, and it sure felt empty last night in the house all alone.<P>I feel I need to tell you, that although you've decided that we cannot be together, I still feel very deeply that our family is worth a second chance. I know that I contributed to the loss of your feelings for me and I deeply regret that. I am trying very hard to let go, but I'm not giving up on us. We had some incredibly wonderful times together as a family and I always imagined many, many more in the future. I know we will have very little contact from now on, but from time to time I'd like to let you know that the door is still open and if you ever feel like maybe we are worth working on again, I still think that we are worth another try.<P>I want you to know how very, very sorry I am for my part in this. I would give anything to go back and make things right again, but I do not have that power. No matter what happens, I will always care for you very deeply, but I would rather you be happy without me, than unhappy with me. The hardest thing I have ever had to do is let you go, but I have, because I think that is what you want and need to be happy. I miss you very deeply and I still love you very much. I will always have fond memories of my time with you, and the happiest moments of my life will always be when we were together. Thank you for the time and happiness you gave me. I will cherish it forever.<P>I wish you happiness no matter what....<P> Always,<BR> <P><P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again

c00ker,<BR> ^^ What are the 2 zeros for? Just curious.<P>I don't know if I am ready to be as "hard core" as Dobson's letter is. To me, your e-mail is still has a little pleading in it, but I would have done the same thing. I would probably follow it up in a week or two, depending on any responses from her, with an upbeat "life is great" letter telling her all the wonderful things in your life. Just as an indication that you are fine without her, a 180 in attitude, obviously not a "jeez, I'm so happy now that I wish you would have left sooner", (I don't think that would go over too well ), but it makes them stop and think that you aren't pursuing, i.e."pressuring", anymore. Who knows. If it works for you, I'll try it. If it doesn't, I'll know better. <P>------------------<BR>I am in this situation for a very good reason, it just took time to get over my own self-pity and understand why.

Still praying,<P>Long story but had to sub the zeros for o's to get a screen name & it just stuck.<P>Yeah, probably a little pleading, but way better than before. I refuse to be anything but totally honest, and that letter is how I feel right now. In a couple of weeks it will be different, but I've only been at this for 2 months. <P>Deep in my heart, I know it's over, it's just going to take me a little more time to adjust to it.<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain and makes the sun come out again