O.K. I don't know if anyone will remember me. I was on here alot about 6 month's ago under the name Fulgore. For those of you who don't, here's a brief rundown.<P>On 3/24/00 after 4 years of marriage, my then W came home from work and basicly said that she did not love me anymore and that our lives were going in seperate directions and that we had both changed so much that she did not want to be married anymore. Infidelity was involved on her part but I did not find out for about another 2 weeks. She said that it did not start with OM until she had already told me the news. As of now we have been divorced since 7/24. That's the day it became final, and that's also my birthday. What a preasent! She filed on 6/19 at which point I moved in with my parents for a little while. We did the marriage counceling and all, I bought and read just about all of Dr. Harley's books, but it changed nothing. <P>Now it is really strange. We talk about once to twice a week. Sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes 2 hours. For the most part we just talk like old friends. I don't ask about the other guy at all. I don't know if they are still together or not. But I know she still sees him because they are in the same masters program at school which is where they met in the first place. I still love her deeply and only want her to be happy. I am really confused on how to handle this. I don't know if I want to just try and forget about her and the situation or concentrate my efforts on trying to get her back.<P>Any kind of input will be greatly appreciated.

Do you love her? In your conversations you have with her can you feel or sense any love in her voice? If you answered "yes" to both of these questions, then don't let fear hold you back.<P>If you truly believe in marriage and the vows you made so many years ago, don't you think it may be worth it to try your best and see if things work out between you two? The worst scenerio is that it doesn't work out, but you will KNOW that you gave it your all....<P>Sounds like the time from the day she told you to the day of your divorce was VERY short. Maybe you both just needed some time....

I just spoke to my Pastor yesterday who mentioned to me that it would not be impossible to get divorced and then remarry later on. My divorce is to be final on 11-9. Very fast like yours was. But the difference in mine is that I have begun to realize in the last few days that when I got married "divorce was not an option" but it became "I have no choice". Where with my H divorce was an option. I know that as much as I don't want a divorce, I am wondering if it might not be better for me to find someone else with the same committment to marriage, rather than take another chance and be hurt all over again. I am still struggling with this however too. Might be best to use the "honesty" policy and be straight forward with her. If she is not interested, do not set yourself up for another fall as you are probably still trying to recover from the first. Hang in there with whatever you decide.