This is a first time posting anything before so please be patient. I came home from a business trip last week and my H told me that he couldn't handle "it" anymore. There is noone else. (for either of us). We were just married last April so all of this is pretty new (my first marraige, his second). It was a huge wake-up call for me. I have realized in the past week that most of it is my fault with the way that I have dealt with things. He isn't placing any blame really, just says that he wants to be alone. He says that he still loves me, just can't live with me. I have asked that we go to counselling but right now he isn't willing. I am going to go by myself. I think that he will also go, but to another counsellor. Right now things are "ok" around the house. I just don't know how to read him. <BR>I am sick with grief (literally), I am going to fight for this but also need to give him some some space and time for figure things out... Any advice??? Help

Quick, before he leaves,<BR>get him to fill out a EN questionnaire.<P>hurry, but tell him its for information only, discussion, etc.<P>sugar coat it, do anything to get him to fill out the questionaire honestly.<P>tom

Like Tom said, quick, do something! Make adjustments with you and your actions towards him and DON'T get upset with his feelings, just let him know you support his feelings (don't have to agree with them) but don't argue his feelings with him. Show him you love him by doing all of the things Dr. Harvey points out, make adjustments for things you may not have been doing, and see if he can come around. Don't push him away. If he hasn't left, I see that as a positive to help provide a median to work with. Good luck.

Thanks for the insight. That's what I am working on right now. He hasn't left yet and I am <<hopefully>> seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I am trying to understand his feelings and change the way that I react to him. One of the biggest problems right now for me though is my job. I travel on average of 3-4 weeks a month and might be home only 8-9 days a month. I have told him that this is the most important thing to me right now (the marraige) and that I will do whatever it takes to prove I am still the person he married rather than a NAG. Amazing that hindsight is 20-20, huh?